Wednesday, November 10, 2010


An imaginary Twitter feed from one company's uptown, high-tech annual users' conference.

Boston parking -- I am not walking back there at 10pm on a Sunday night.  This it the kind of problem I throw money at.

Jamell the Valet: Do you know if they are validating?   Me:  We can assume not

Marketing Director has lectured on and on: take away – don’t eat anything.

Naturally I am too early.  Naturally, I am tricking out this name-tag so I don’t have to wear it on a ribbon.

Six customers, one me.  Good thing I am shallow.

The trays they are passing are more interesting than the food on them.  Let the customers take the last of whatever that was.

Our entertainment tonight are 2 wedding singers doing a dueling keyboards banter over whose side of the room is better.  The bar. Is. Open.

Glad that the cold fish I just met is not my customer.

Overheard in the ballroom “He killed someone yesterday.  They called it while he was taking his turn at CPR.  But she was already dead.”  Laughter.

Predicted the conga line about 20 minutes ahead of schedule.  Someone is going to jump into a fountain before this night is out.

 Drinking soda because I have to drive home from here.  But I'm not happy about it.

The truffles stuck to the branches over the dessert buffet are real.  My Director used that as a conversation  opener.  Creativity points.

Overtipped Jamell because I don’t want to wait for change.  Intercontinental is very nice and easy to get to.  But it is not home.

Monday morning:  Missed breakfast sitting on Rt 2 in a downpour.  Barely made it to the GM’s opening address.

Boston Police are removing a floater from the harbor outside our ballroom.  (Not one of ours.)  [kuh-KUNG] Welcome to Boston.

We’re a pretty good-looking company when we show up dressed for work.

Lunch:   more small talk, introductions, comments on the food.  I tried some of my wedding table jokes, but really no one here gets me.

Member of another dept said how glad we were going to be working together.  Say MORE.  Pumped her for info the next 2 hours.

Why didn’t I go for that Linguistics program in 95?  Our product is so cool – I am  unqualified to work on the cool parts of it.

Tried to take my co-workers for Happy Hour – she was faster with the card than I was with cash.  Good thing – a cab and a Mark were $22.

Sales weenies stuck 2 PMs with a $300 bar bill.  Didn’t even bother to chip in.  Someone got some ‘splaining to do.

Dinner at Miel.  Let’s see if the company pays for this.  Chowdah and Nicoise.  Floating bodies notwithstanding.

2 newlywed brides (not to each other) talk about who is hot at the conference. Women are the new men.  The man at our table smiles uncomfortably.

Customers have gone to the Harvard Club.  We escape the bar just as their buses return.  Day One.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments Build Community! We thank you for yours. Spam comments are not welcome and will not be posted.