Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Those of you who thought I would never learn to keep my mouth shut (looking at you, Billy Scott) should meet my workmates.  I would love for that to happen, and I could be there to watch unseen.  They would say to you, "she seems really busy... I don't know her that well. She doesn't talk to people very much."

Not only am I not saying everything I'm thinking (except through the wall to my cube mate, and when he stops laughing, I'll stop muttering), I have gone past silent to truly invisible.  I'd like to end that phrase with "and I've never been happier," but it's still a pretty stupid experience all around.

Monday the new GrandBoss started, and I found a new game.  I decided to see how long I could go without meeting her, and this quickly turned into how long could I go without even seeing her.  Today is Wednesday.  This takes less energy than moving my cheese around, and turned out to be more interesting.  I figure, she has to meet her Boss, and her staff in the same week... she can skip me for a few days.  It sounds like a noble rationale; truth is, I just didn't want to, then it became a game.

I have the advantage here, because
1) I know of her, and she has only a marginal count of how many people work for her and in how many cities.
2) I know how to get through the warren, and she does not. (Neither, we recently learned, does one of her Crazy Subordinates, which we discovered this week as she began to require him to come to meeting rooms in person.  This has also been highly entertaining)
3) I can hear her coming.  My cube mate has his back to her, and can not.  She cornered him today with a "do you know how to XXX in Excel 2010?"  and his dread of being geographically in a P.A. slot came true.  Because he is a noble character, he rose (literally and figuratively) to the occasion.  I ducked like a trapdoor spider.

Most of the time I do not have control over my Invisibility.  I can be standing in a bank line, and someone will step right in front of me.  I pleasantly say , "Hi."  Sometimes I yawp, but quietly, like a Who.  And they jump out of their skin as if I just appeared there.  It can waste a lot of time getting errands done.  On the other hand... the conversations I've heard.

  Anyway, refer to your map.  On Tuesday, she entered the cube across the alleyway from me to introduce herself to the person who works in it, only to learn that she had crossed the border from people who work for her... but she played it off well, and made pleasant chit-chat with her new neighbor, then went about her business.  I know all this, because I was right there.

I got a glimpse of her today, but only a 3/4 side view.  I could not identify her in a lineup.

LM asked me, "Should I go introduce myself?"  I said, "Well, if I say yes... then I have to.  And I don't want to."  This was all the challenge she needed.  As she strode off, "I said, "Tell her I'm immature, ok?"

Incidentally, I've learned that in India one calls the Cube a "Cave."  More in the spirit of things, don't you think?