Sunday, December 12, 2010

Museum of Broken Relationships

Who knows better about bad matches gone wrong than the people we tried to call Yugoslavians?

You may not be planning a trip to Croatia.  Though Dubrovnik at Christmas can be enchanting….  But you might find yourself in Vienna, only a 4 hour drive from Zagreb, where the permanent collection of the Museum of Broken Relationships is open from 9 – 9 every day.

This collection of objects was originally a travelling show, and does still make the rounds, but has found a home at last in a bleak-looking shell of a brick low-rise, that appears to have once housed apartments with terraced views.  How fitting.  (ArtCulture defines it as a former department store)


The objects displayed are accompanied by the years of the relationship they represent, and a brief story, such as the wedding photo matchstick box above:

Maribor, Slovenia

A box – Jelka, Vlado, November 15, 1975. Vlado made it after the wedding, when he was in the army. After 18 years of marriage he left me for another woman; we officially divorced after our 25th wedding anniversary. I decided to surprise him for the anniversary. I ordered a cake with the number 25 written on it and the pastry shop cut it in half. I sent him the half with the 25. Our sons celebrated our anniversary first with me and then with their father. He and his girlfriend were very shocked but they ate the cake anyway. The cake is gone and so is our marriage. I still have the box, two sons and a lot of memories…
Much of the press is drawn to this wooden prosthetic leg – donated by a wounded warrior who fell briefly in love with his nurse.  It is duct-taped together and badly worn, but as the donor comments, it was still “sturdier” than their love.

In fact, so much of the press comments on the same handful of items, that I did wonder how many pieces are in the permanent collection.  Spiegel counts 200 on 6 stories; NYTimes reported on about 70 objects in a traveling exhibit in Turkey: nice aerial view of that.  Note the broken heart array….15broken_CA0-articleLarge
There are a few other objects from the period of Yugoslavia’s collapse, such as the prosthetic and a love letter written during the evacuation of Sarajevo.

What seems to be missing is a gallery devoted to the arranged marriage that was Yugoslavia itself, and the relationship counselors it sought.  “Too Soon,” perhaps?  Maybe this is a gentler way to start the conversation, or to replace it.

yugo-1-630op  An installation dedicated to this little fellow would be a nice touch too.    Yeh, “sometime.”  Not for long though.

The Museum received 1000 visitors in the first week it opened this October.  Both Leonard Cohen and Lady Gaga have performed in Zagreb this year.  Coincidence?  I think that about wraps it up.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Poster Postulate



Teenage boys like to feel taller than their movies.

But headlocks are optional.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Mess with the bull

You all know that I can not get enough of job descriptions, and I still get a pile of them every day, many of which I share on the various blogs and Facebook pages I manage.  networking is still the way these things get done, and sometimes the feeling that a job description (dx, we lazily say, in my world) has dropped from the sky can be the right incentive for someone to make a move.

This job title came in the mail today:

I have to say that I never thought of this being an actual job title, that a person would apply for.  I thought this was a duty pawned off onto the coach of the losing team, the bachelor biology teacher, or Never Wills like Dick Vernon, giving up his every Saturday to supervise the Breakfast Club.

It is an 8 hour day (they don't pay for lunch) but only a .75 FTE.  That may be true of most public school jobs, since it reads 210 days/year part-time.  A way to manipulate the books, I expect.

"shape school culture and ensure a safe and orderly environment that promotes academic achievement" ~~ means, get the trouble makers out of our way, please.    Important to note that on The Wire, this required 1 doctoral student, 1 social worker, and a retired police officer.

"a variety of support roles while serving as the intake coordinator in the Dean’s receiving area."  Even I know this is secretarial.  In the way that being a warden is.

"ensure student achievement through the restorative justice process..."  They stood an applaauded themselves when they wrote that one.  restorative justice.

"Provide support to the ...Think Time & Tardy Lunch Teacher, and School Nurse."
1.  I want to see the dx for the Lunch Teacher and .....
2.  You support the nurse.  If there is anyone lower than this on the chart, it is this guy, and we all know he is the eyes and ears of this school.  

In fact, the word "assist" appears 5 times in the bullet points of this job description, including this sad line:  "Assist with all Student Services related mailings including summer school letters, attendance notifications, suspension letters, health screenings, parent college information nights, invitations to scholarship nights, etc."

I suppose it's only fair that the next bullet point, under duties, mind you, is "Model appropriate behavior and display professional conduct at all times."  I guess there has been a problem.

When I got to this line, I realized, oh yeh --- I have had this job.
"Assist in updating the comprehensive Student Handbook in collaboration with the Principal, Dean and other staff, as appropriate."

You will never win the argument that it is not appropriate.
But good luck making that career change.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Google's Sense of Humor

I ran an image search for "factory closed," and it sent me this.  Google, you so cray-zee

A note on marathons

As you must certainly know, I am no runner.

Even at the gym, where I'll try nearly anything, you are not going to get me to run.  It only took hyperventilating once in the 300 yrd dash for me to determine that is not natural.  President's Council my aaaa....***** 

Anyway, no need to get all wound up.  The Marathon I am speaking of is a metaphorical one, which culminates today as National Blog Post Month comes to its blissful and headachy end.   I hear so many of you talk about the mini-marathons you have entered, and the weekend 10Ks you are training for, and I said, well "tip o' the hat and god bless ye."  I'll be over here obsessively writing about it.  You have your pointless round trips to nowhere, and I have mine.  I expect we each do it because it hurts so good and we feel good at it.

Like you, I did a lot of planning -- that is, I actually listed 30 topics, and I had to pre-schedule some.  There were a couple of hard-training weekends, where I wrote a few in a day and laid them out.  Some turned out to be bigger than I had time for, so they will show up later.  I don't want to give them away now. Others I just found the meat in after the title:
  • The fact that U of NM's yearbook used to be called The Swastika
  • Peter the Great's cabinet full of dead animals in party clothes
  • Squire Friddell, the Toyota Salesman for Life
  • Kids Who Climb on Rocks.  (seriously, I had nothin after that - I found myself singing the Armour Hot Dog song, and thought -- how is that a category of kid?  And... who eats Armour hot dogs?  ew)
  • A pile of repressed 70s memories topics you'll see later on
  • And another attempt at the oldest unfinished essay in my draft pile -- 2007's The Hungry Gospel, which attempts to reconcile why The Gospel of John has no Last Supper in it. 
And unlike you (I imagine) I did not train every day and I didn't always give it my best.  I could have used a more driving soundtrack and a little less Power Bar.  I may have twisted a knee.  Or the truth.  But I made it to the finish line.

Lessons learned from this Marathon are that you may be more surprised than anyone when you kick it at the end and break the tape, even if you soil yourself in the attempt.

I will not be here tomorrow.  I can promise you that.  I am not gone forever.  But Miss Bender is behind on her filing.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Today's Writing Prompt

Look, I don't have space for an all-nighter.  Not when I still have to manage today's email before it becomes yesterday's email (Take Back Your Life) and fight the system on finding a flight to Va that doesn't require a pre-dawn departure, a shuttle to Boston, a 3 hour layover in Newark, a connection through anything west of the Cumberland Gap, or $700.  I am not getting to bed on time as it is.

So, yeh, I went to the prompts list.  Wanna  make somethin of it?

The question is

If you could have worked for anyone in history, in your field, who would you choose and why?

My..... "field".....

Which is, what, exactly?
When I was In The Field, we called it The Field, and the world was divided into those IN and those OUT.  Just today I was asked for advice by someone looking to get IN.  I wrote "I've been out for quite a while, but you might try S***.  She's still in the field."
When we were all unemployed (not this past time, the time before), we agreed to stop asking people "And what do you do?" because we realized what an awkward question that is.  I tend to open these days with "Where do you live?"  or "How do you know the bride?"  I actually say "the bride" no matter the situation.  It's not really that funny; it's all in the delivery.
When people ask me what I do, I answer depending on what they are looking for.  If I think they are networking, I'll name the mill that gives me the paycheck.  But it does mean defining my silly "field."  I'm not even convinced it makes sense as a role, but it comes with certs, so yeh, I guess it's a field.  I wouldn't even want to work for me in that field.
If I think they want a good story, I go with describing things for blind people.  If I think they want to talk about themselves. I'll say I'm a homocide detective.
When is it a "field," and when is it a "discipline"?  I miss "Game."  "So what game are you in?"  "I'm in ladies undergarments."  "You said it, brother."  
You'll notice I didn't answer the question.  I never intended to.
I can't wait for  Dec 1.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The error message

Internet Explorer has closed this webpage to help protect your computer
A malfunctioning or malicious add-on has caused Internet Explorer to close this webpage.

What you can do:
Go to your home page
Try to return to

This should be an app.  I could get behind this.   Something that warns me of Malicious Add Ons.  Life is full of them.

As we get closer to the day when hologram pop-ups appear before our eyes telling us There is a Toyota Sale-a-Thon , we could use pop-ups that warn us who to stay away from.  (From whoooom to stay away.)

I like the helpful advice also.  You can Go Home.  or you can return to the shallow 2-d relationships that are easier to manage.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Talk about jumping on a craze...

Crest 3D?  Really....?  

Joke's on you, Crest, because I remembered it as Colgate 3D, and so did a number of other people, judging by the search results.  But we'll get to them in a minute.  They are not off the hook.  But you.  You got some 'splainin' to do.

Crest used to make its living making promises about our cavities.  Now they seem  determined to make us feel bad about the color of our teeth.  They are just not WHITE enough, says Crest.  Now they want them to pop right out of our head and through the Quidditch goal, it seems.

Enough with 3-D mania.  Life is ALREADY in 3D.  We are not idiots.  But since you bothered to write your "story," I'll humor you.

"Crest and Oral-B offer the transformative power of a 3D White smile to people everywhere, without the confusion or trade-offs of other whitening products available today, and with the health benefits you expect from Crest and Oral-B."

People EVERYWHERE.    

What does this mean: "...without the confusion or trade-offs..."You mean how I mixed you up with Colgate?  You must get that all the time.  And just tell me how do you remove "the confusion"?  You don't really say.

How dumb they think we are:  (real quotes)

  • "CREST 3D WHITE WHITESTRIPS WILL ONLY WHITEN NATURAL TEETH."   (all caps.  They are tired of answering this particular FAQ.)
  • "Do not use with dental braces."
  • "They contain high performance polymers...."  (Oohhh... polymers.  You are so space age. )

Best irony Moment:  They are very proud of their reviews on

Too bad DailyAppleAndANiceGlassOfTapWater couldn't help them out.

I never found out what the 3Ds stand for.  I think it just beat out "low carb,"  "Green"  and "iTeeth" in the marketing meeting.

Stay right where you are, Colgate.  You're in this too.  Know how I know?

Because I should never need help choosing my toothpaste.

There are so many varieties on the Colgate page that I can't actually show it to you.

That says "Caribbean Cool."  To hell with everything; I'm just going to chew toothpaste as gum.  And follow with a bubble-gum flavored flouride rinse.

Do not confuse your Caribbean Cool with Paradise Fresh, which is "Sparkling gel in brilliant gemstone colors of Aquamarine and Amethyst." 

 Did you know Colgate still makes UltaBrite?
It's Farrah's brand.  

When I asked why they still make it, it was not one of the FAQs.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Your 2010 Wish Book

Economics has a way of making sure we can't really afford the crazy crap we want when we want it.  By the time you can afford the bacon and egg pajamas, you kind of don't want them anymore.  This happens more slowly for women, because we maturely more quickly and earn more slowly. 
Now is the perfect time to buy the must-have items you couldn't get your hands (or your wallet around) when you wanted them the first time.  Maybe this will put your iPad purchase into some whimsical perspective.

My thanks to the Vintage Ad Browser, where I just spent an hour instead of thinking up my own content.
My thanks to eBay for stocking everything we wasted money on.

Character Telephones  - characters in illustration are larger than they appear.  I was referring to the leg warmers.  Current eBay selling price on the Garfield phone -  $10 - $70.  Lacks caller ID.  But they taught us earlier our phones should be FUN!  And that they were thinking up something for that # key.

The Bone Fone  - official brand name for the "neck stereo headphones."  I just wish I could listen to music while I'm boogie skating.  When will they crack the code on that?  One pair available on eBay for $50.

The Swatch -  we probably all got these in a stocking one year or another.  Explain to your kids what a watch was, and how you didn't have to dig it out of your pocket and turn it on to know what time it was.
26,000 swatches on eBay.  Better narrow your search.  This might help.

A COMPUTER - It will cost the nest egg, but he'll get into Stanford, honey!
16K.  I don't know how I'll fill it.

The Clamshell  - Maybe you are more the laptop type.  I'll say this for Apple -- they have never been afraid to cannibalize their own products if it made them better.  And less embarrassing looking.

"Fully loaded" is still pretty specs, including a 20 GB hard drive for under $300.  If your iPod just feels too small.

The Jacket 
I smell Halston.

Available in nylon or leather models and all your favorite jewel-tone shades.  Roughly $150-200.  Doesn't this look like the Star Trek crew on shore leave?

The Coat 
Oh, the animals you would kill... as soon as you cashed out.

Avon Collectibles  For the man who has everything.  Except another man.

Garth Brooks Shirt  - see also Cosby Sweater

There are 9 bids this minute on the Roper XL Texas flag style.  Bidding closes tomorrow, and is $30 at this posting.  Better get in there.  Roper the wind.

Other, less desirable, Roper shirts.

Le Car
On the other hand... 39 Highway..... hmmmmmmm

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Brunch with Jesus

"Jesus said to them, 'Come and have breakfast.'"  ~~ John 21:12

 In those games where you name 5 dinner guests, people often throw Him in.  "and... Jesus, I guess...."  Always mixing him in with Lincoln, Einstein, Betty Friedan...  I'd be more inclinced to leave him off the list.  Not because I have brunch with Jesus every day already, which I do, but because he is not a particularly gracious dinner guest.

He tells long rambly stories that have no punchline, and has a tendency toward outbursts of anger and name-calling when challenged.  He also doesn't help with the dishes.

Jesus' own 5 dinner guests in this game will be the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and... "Aristotle, I guess...." he'll throw in. 

Here's an interesting juxtaposition to ponder:  Jesus has to knock on the door of your heart, but your house he'll just invite himself to.

"oo, wait, a tax collector.  I need one of those.  Ok, Lose Aristotle."

The caption isn't entirely fair.  We know he ate fish, but we also know (as any well-raised Baptist will tell you) he ate what was set before him (Luke 10), even if it was topped with mini marshmallows.  Funny thing is, we don't see Jesus eat much.  He serves a lot of food, he interrupts a lot of meals --  including his own -- to rail against Pharisees, who also apparently barge right in wherever they like.

After Jesus' return, " he asked them, 'Do you have anything here to eat?' (Luke 24) "They gave him a piece of broiled fish,  and he took it and ate it in their presence."   He has a little nosh, and he walks with them to Bethany, site of another of his favorite dinner parties (and one stunning dead-raisin') but ascends before the first course.  Aristotle expected him 8-ish.

Enjoy your feast.  Serve ye, one another.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Today in the History of this Blog

How random are the designs of the drawing in room.

Here's what we have rolled out Nov 24 these past years:

2006:  Ned Nickerson: Emersonian, in which we muse about Nancy Drew's backup singers.

2007:  TI Humor (actually Nov 25.  Not a NaBlo Year)  The very young Repressed 70s Memories series spells BOOBS on a calculator.  Short-sleeved business dress optional.

2008:  Mild Innuendo:  Kids in Mind finds sex in a Disney film where you didn't see it.

2009: thirtysomething in retrospect.  I start rewatching one of our culture's awesome artifacts.

2010:  I go on vacation and post this cheat.  sue me.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Speaking of things coming out of the archives...

This seems to be the month for it.  We began with a rant about Disney manipulating the market for their own devices, then just the other day a celebration of the Soul Train collection (scroll down), and here comes

The Warner Archive

Remember how I said I wasn't going to collect any more movies in any new formats?  Do you?  Because I can't hear a thing while I am staring at this.    This.    THIS

Here's how Warner's is competing.  They closed the stores (they were fun, but the era of logo wear and cell art may be behind us), they shut down the catalog (no promises, here.  Manager's choice) and they don't maintain a warehouse.  They burn on purchase, or you can download it. They don't restore anything.  They figure you are willing to buy a bootleg at the collectible show; it might as well be from them.

And they change it up Often, to keep you coming back for more.  But look on Netflix too, because they know what they are up against.

Warner Archive passes the Bad Ronald test.

Caroline Bender's Least Expected Finds and Morbid Curiosities in the Warner Archive (Best of Everything was a Fox picture)

# War and Military - Monty Clift as a GI who adopted a death camp runaway
# TV Movies & Series - Champions: a Love Story 
# Silent Films - The Boob.  How do you not love that?  Here's the plot.  Farm boy Peter Good’s best gal runs off with a bootlegger. So the hapless boob goes running after them…and straight into culture-clash farce that pits his hick heroism (patterned after the actions of granite-jawed cowpokes seen on local Bijou screens) against the wiles of slick-haired gangsters and gin-soaked jazz babies. I almost left out: Joan Crawford in 1926.
# Cult, Sci-Fi & Horror - They Only Kill Their Masters - the Boys of Brazil as played by Dobermans
# Comedy - Ten Thousand Bedrooms.  Martin goes solo without Lewis.

And certainly someone we all know needs this:  

Monday, November 22, 2010


When you are around your Thanksgiving table trying to deflect conversation onto something less... provocative... try this.

Do you know the most often searched out of print title, according to

Bookfinder is a search engine for the books you can't find elsewhere.  Really, it just conglomerates...or aggregates... or whichever is correct-erates the other book dealer sites so you don't have to, and that is certainly convenient.

Just like DrawingIn.

Who's behind Bookfinder?  " is an independent subsidiary of AbeBooks, which is based in Victoria, Canada."  so says their "About" page.  Which mostly made me wonder.... what the heck is an "independent subsidiary"?  Then I remembered what I was doing.

Is it free?  Free to search -- search away.  It's a search engine's search engine.

How does it make money?  Beats the hell out of me.

Can I search foreign titles?  You can.  You can also search dealers in foreign lands, lucky you.  Bookfinder is based in Berkeley, CA, and Justbooks, the European wing, comes out of Dusseldorf, Germany.

Why is "Dusseldorf" such a funny word?  Beats the hell out of me.

So how's the usability?  Pretty good.  Search by title, author, keyword, ISBN and get a list of titles as a result.  Click titles to see dealers.  This makes for a clean search result set you can truly browse. 

Prices?  Odd - most of these book dealers with give the book away for a dollar or less, but the shipping can be about $5.  The price you see is a total, so no secrets.  Hover to see the item price vs s/h.  Dealers provide a statement of the book's condition, but you can't see it.  After that, all rules for buying used crap online are in effect.  Big win -- you can buy the 3rd edition of a text book for about 60% less than the current 4th edition and often get a new copy.

On the other hand, economics are economics, and the rarer and more sought-after the title, the higher the price.

What does it lack?
Amazon is still best at the "look inside!" feature (and the most enthusiastic).  I found it necessary to cross-check the sites to see if the book I was buying had the content I was looking for.  There is no "cart," because this is a search engine.  So you may create multiple orders (even from a single dealer) from all your searching.  So keep that orientation in mind and make your own spreadsheet or word doc off to the side if you want to minimize your orders.

Are you going to answer Cliff's trivia question?  I am.
 Recognize it?  $200 resale value - MIP -- $600 autographed.  Origional cover price $49.95 1992.

That's Sex by Madonna, and I have just upped the search count to get that graphic.

Other top draws in the past year, according to
Promise me Tomorrow, by Nora Roberts.  There's a Nora Roberts book out of print?  How can that be?  Your goal as a writer should be to become so prolific you can tell your publisher to stop printing the books you yourself don't like, even though you are a big cash cowThe Principles of Knitting - because we are poor and it is cold.  A Treasury of Great Recipes, by Mary and Vincent Price.  Damn, now I want this too.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Soul Train

#30 in an occasional series of repressed 70's memories that turn out to be true.

Stop me if you've heard this:  Soul Train is now on DVD.

Right ON

I will let the Soul train site do its own selling.  Loads of merch, an on-screen video jukebox, ya'll, and a nine CD box set.  Run tell dat, Bandstand.
Now, I won't re-write history.  I did adore Bandstand.  Dick Clark is a puppet, but dance contest, rate-a-record, clumsy interviews, showing the giant record sleeve.... all fantastic.  what it didn't have....

was SOUL.

In the town of my roots, where we were newly integrated, but still mostly separated, Bandstand and Soul Train ran back to back.  So you could get the info you needed to move between your two worlds.  Some things crossed lines:  Welcome Back Kotter, Now & Laters, Soul Train. 

You could learn disco on either program, you could get fashion advice for the suburbs or the city.  But you could only learn funk on Soul Train.  the Bump.  Pop n Lock.  The Robot.  White guys on bandstand doing the robot looked silly.  Well, they looked silly because of the part down the middle of their heads, but suspenders and platforms didn't help.

Understand that Bandstand grew into the 70s; Soul Train was born in them.  Bandstand was already your parents' weekend afternoon pop music dance show, at a time when that was a Thing.  Soul Train would earn that distinction later, by staying past the prom into 2000-god help us - SIX.  But in its time... oh, in its time.

If you need the funk (got to have that funk) queue up Vol. 1 today.  Zip on your ankle boots and puff out your Bern Nadette Stanis popcorn pigtails.  Cause the Train is pulling into the station.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Captain Currency

This showed up in my handful of change.  Usually I don't pay any attention to pennies.  I literally leave them on the nearest flat surface as I walk away.  If you ever spot a little stack of pennies on a public counter, or a parking barrier, oddly crammed between bricks in a wall, that's me.  I'm not a penny hater; I'm a public hoarder.

Different post.

What is the US Mint's motivation to keep changing the currency designs?  Does it really prevent counterfeiting?  Because I never saw anything more fake looking than this shiny, nearly PINK, coin with Captain America's shield on it.

It's like a Mardi Gras souvenir.  I might have thought it was counterfeit if it weren't so easy to find in-depth propaganda  information without leaving my house.

The 2010 penny has its own website.  They really need to up the price on these domain names.  Once here, you will learn that this design is called the Union Shield.  You will learn how it defeated its competitor designs, including the Screamin' Eagle and the Capital Dome.  You will learn that it was selected by the Citizens Coinage Advisory Committee.  And you may stop there -- only because you know that I won't.

The website that took you inside the cutthroat business of stamp selection is here to lead you through another door.  Could you all... crouch behind this tiny shield...please...

Is the Citizens Coinage Advisory Committee new?  Yes, in fact.  Since 2003,  they have been advising the Treasury on design ideas.

Hasn't the Treasury been awfully busy lately?  Haven't they just.  Good thing we have this crew to keep the money we don't have interesting to look at.

Who are they?  to quote Coin Update News:
  • one specially qualified in numismatic collection curation;
  • one specially qualified in the medallic arts or sculpture;   (medallic, they said)
  • one specially qualified in American history; 
  • one specially qualified in numismatics;
  • three individuals representing the interests of the general public; and
  • four individuals recommended by the Leadership of both the House of Representatives and Senate (who seem to have no other contributing value)
 What happens when they stop being polite....and start being Real?

Can I be one?  You CAN!  They serve four year terms as "Special Government Employees."  I hope there is a lapel pin.

Do we really care about coins that much?  I can tell you I found a buffalo nickel in my own pocket the other day and got disproportionately excited about it.  I know I was initially excited about the state quarters, but for pity's sake -- there are just so many of them.  There are more coming, too, because Special Government Employees have cleared the way for an "America the Beautiful" series.  Apparently the state series was so "successful."

What makes a coin design successful?  We hoard a lot of them?  I guess the numismatic community gets jazzed about them?  Or is it that it wasn't booed out of the park the way Eisenhower and Anthony dollars were?  If consumers don't hand them back to the cashier and say "do you have the other kind?"

Every few years there is a story about getting rid of the penny, but it just keeps getting a face lift.  Lincoln was the first real person we put on our money and that wheat design does feel like a B-side.  But we lived with it until the New Frontier, when the Lincoln Memorial replaced it.  On a really new penny you can actually SEE Lincoln in his chair between the pillars; the detail of that die is remarkable.

In the past 5 years, the penny has come in for its close-up.  4 designs were added, depicting different stages of Lincoln's life -- none of the ones you immediately think of, because that would be too controversial: Lincoln inspecting Gettysburg's blood-soaked hillsides, Lincoln writing the Emancipation Proclamation, Lincoln in the theatre box....  Lincoln stooping to fit on the same penny as Stephan Douglas....

And now, "the Union Shield,"  -- easier to hold in your hand than the Capitol Rotunda.  And you don't have to tilt your head so far back.