Sunday, December 5, 2010

Mess with the bull

You all know that I can not get enough of job descriptions, and I still get a pile of them every day, many of which I share on the various blogs and Facebook pages I manage.  networking is still the way these things get done, and sometimes the feeling that a job description (dx, we lazily say, in my world) has dropped from the sky can be the right incentive for someone to make a move.

This job title came in the mail today:

I have to say that I never thought of this being an actual job title, that a person would apply for.  I thought this was a duty pawned off onto the coach of the losing team, the bachelor biology teacher, or Never Wills like Dick Vernon, giving up his every Saturday to supervise the Breakfast Club.

It is an 8 hour day (they don't pay for lunch) but only a .75 FTE.  That may be true of most public school jobs, since it reads 210 days/year part-time.  A way to manipulate the books, I expect.

"shape school culture and ensure a safe and orderly environment that promotes academic achievement" ~~ means, get the trouble makers out of our way, please.    Important to note that on The Wire, this required 1 doctoral student, 1 social worker, and a retired police officer.

"a variety of support roles while serving as the intake coordinator in the Dean’s receiving area."  Even I know this is secretarial.  In the way that being a warden is.

"ensure student achievement through the restorative justice process..."  They stood an applaauded themselves when they wrote that one.  restorative justice.

"Provide support to the ...Think Time & Tardy Lunch Teacher, and School Nurse."
1.  I want to see the dx for the Lunch Teacher and .....
2.  You support the nurse.  If there is anyone lower than this on the chart, it is this guy, and we all know he is the eyes and ears of this school.  

In fact, the word "assist" appears 5 times in the bullet points of this job description, including this sad line:  "Assist with all Student Services related mailings including summer school letters, attendance notifications, suspension letters, health screenings, parent college information nights, invitations to scholarship nights, etc."

I suppose it's only fair that the next bullet point, under duties, mind you, is "Model appropriate behavior and display professional conduct at all times."  I guess there has been a problem.

When I got to this line, I realized, oh yeh --- I have had this job.
"Assist in updating the comprehensive Student Handbook in collaboration with the Principal, Dean and other staff, as appropriate."

You will never win the argument that it is not appropriate.
But good luck making that career change.


  1. You know... insurance policies are now required to be written in language that can be easily understood by the average consumer. Perhaps it is time that job descriptions are, too. This is bull!

  2. At least we know that there are jobs available out there if people were willing to give up their "unemployment compensation" and work for a living instead of living off of the various government agencies and running up the national debt even further!! M


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