A story in reverse order. Sort of.
As the Boss was leaving for the day (and week) I let her know I was closing out a thing that had been delegated to me be her boss this morning. A thing that had been open for a month until my soooper genius was able to crack the case.
And if you are anywhere in the vicinity of my friend circle you can hear the sarcasm dripping out of my voice.
I said to her, "That email thread is my new favorite thing, by the way. I want to make a blog out it." And that's the story I'm going to tell.
I don't yet have a name for the new mill. It is not the Mill (it is soooo not The Mill) but I can't figure out what it is.
That doesn't matter now.
What matters is that I am about to diss Sales, and they are the same wherever you go. Second to them is Order Management, and you know that's an itchy rash.
Our finance team is out of state, which seems like taking SOX compliance to an extreme degree... and they are notorious red-tapers crippled by a manual process (sssh, don't tell them - I took it off the resume) that, to be fair to them, is really impossible. So sometimes... the bill doesn't get sent, is what I am saying.
At the end of last month, OM wrote to ask about some paperwork for something that happened on BigCo Customer last fall.
It went just like this:
OM: Dear sales, we need that paperwork
OM: Hey, sales, did anyone get that paperwork?
Weenie1: Wasn't my sale
Weenie2: Wasn’t my sale
Weenie3: Maybe Inside Weenie knows. (“looooping in,” we called this at The Mill)
Inside Weenie: Wasn’t my sale
OM: Hi, Boss of anyone who might know, who should get this bill?
Manager of previous owner: What do you know – when I looked the customer up, I found this name under Primary Contact.
My grandboss: [FWDs all previous nonsense] Caroline – make this go away.
Me: Hi customer: before I ever worked here someone should have sent you a bill.
Weenie1: Can someone call this customer?
Me: Dear Weenies. You are not helping and I am closing this thread.
Weenie2: I think Weenie4 knew somebody at one time that was at a conference with a person who used to go out with the contact’s IT guy.
Me: I GOT this. Stop it.
VP of Weenies: Thank God.
No – THANK ME. And enjoy your commission.