Thursday, November 6, 2008

One for the ladies

I am about to speak on a topic you may wish to avoid. But if you do, you may miss out on a simple special gift for that woman in your life, unless she reads about it here and buys it for herself.

Please be advised that this posts acknowledges the existence of certain reproductive organs.

You remember that for a brief time, many many years ago, Tampax included -- free in the box -- a plastic tampon holder. It came in navy blue or magenta (Mattel pink), held 2, and worked kind of like a Pez dispenser. I have one left, and they are nowhere to be found -- not even on eBay, where you can find everything else, including a dozen other designs of tampon holder.

What I wondered was, why don't they just hang there in the aisle, like the can openers do next to the soup, like the flea collars do next to the kibble? Why should this be so difficult? What an easy market this is.

My dear friend Karen, who has handled her hygiene in more developing economies than you, said, "Oh like this?" and shows me the one from the O.B. box. I think she had it stored under her fingernails. I just paused and rolled my eyes. To OB or not OB is the Mac/PC of Girl World.

Those dozen other designs on eBay are all terribly kitschy/cute, and believe me, I don't need my tampon holder to be discreet. It can actually look like a tampon for all I care, I just need it to be sturdy. A Band-Aid tin used to be perfect for this. Band-Aid tins were perfect for everything.

The Glam and Retro cases are well-made, and chic enough for your formal bag, but I don't know that my case should cost more than a 40-box.

Then there are Ragtotes - more cheaply priced, more cheaply made, but do the job. Check out the sports variety!

If you do need discretion, try Discreet Innovations, "in 5 vibrant colors." I want to be discreet... but VIBRANTLY. There was a time, on my quest, where I thought that an antique cigarette holder might serve my needs. Especially if it had an endearing engraving on it.

Then just a couple of months ago, in my own Shaw's market, in the very small Health & Beauty aisle, they were hanging there, just like can openers. Nothing fancy or cutsie. Just an entire rack of "tampon purses" made by Evriholder. Mattel pink still available!

I bought 5. A week later, when I saw my best friend for her birthday, I said "I brought you something." She said it was the best gift ever.


  1. That's too funny!!! However, in just a few short years, you won't need the damn things anymore anyway!! M.


  3. And the best friend meant it! I am the most prepared woman on my block.

  4. Do you remember the SNL "commercial" featuring the dress made of tampons? "This old Rag?"


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