Friday, May 30, 2008

An unmarried person

Picture it: passing papers with a paralegal at the attorney's office (refinancing), one of the documents defines the terms used throughout the rest of the pile we will work through. I am to initial showing that I have seen/read/comply with/have simply initialed these definitions.

Borrower: Caroline Bender, an unmarried person.

I am now defined by a negative. Not to mention that I am also a non-male person, non-procreated non-Pagan who is only marginally visually impaired.

What kind of definition is this? It would kill you to write "single person"? "Head of Household"? It would be some miscarriage to amend this "definition" with "and none other named herein..."

If I were to marry now (oh stop it - I'm making an argument) do I have to get an amendment?

Would I have to write a Lifetime movie to get this corrected? Should I bother? Miss W was once listed as "Male" on her driver's license. She bothered. Even though no one would have been confused. In high school, my permanent record listed my middle name as "Juan." We bothered. Perhaps you've heard the story about how my birth announcement neglected to mention my gender.

Marion the Librarian, Dr Rice and I are indeed single people, meaning never married. Seems to me an unmarried person had a spouse and doesn't now.

But if the paperwork is already wrong it is already initialed.

Did you know that Saint Catherine is the patron saint of unmarried girls? In French culture, a Catherinette is a woman still unmarried at 25. Oh..honey. 25... how cute.

Do you know how many bloggers are using "Catherinette" as their sobriquet? (french.)
Here's one Here's her friend And this might be her again

Proving you are single can be like proving you have no auto insurance, which I once also had to do. I found a notary who took my word for it, after trying to frighten my car renting (and therefore clearly a Catherinette) self that insurance fraud was frowned upon.

One last unmarried woman find. So it seeeemmmsss... that someone tried to sue on the grounds of housing discrimination when an ad read "perfect for singles."

And to you, you big selfish Breeder, I say boo-friggin-hoo.


  1. Ms. Bender,
    All I can say is, "Amen, sister!" The label is quite annoying.

    Your Fellow Non-Breeder

  2. i've not been called "unmarried" on an official document yet. when i am, i am crossing that shit out and writing "single" in its place before i sign anything. thanks, gurl!


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