Monday, September 25, 2006

Philadelphia Freedom

Something amazing is happening to Bruce Jenner.
Lest you mistake the figure on the left for your RA from freshman year, or your TA from sophomore year, that is indeed Bruce Jenner on too much Botox and silicone.

The Decathelete is beginning to look like a lesbian.

And not just any lesbian, mind you, but one unflattering tennis skirt away from Billie Jean, which is certainly aiming for the stars. Let's give him credit for picking a powerhouse role model.

20 Wimbledon titles
4 US Championships
The public humiliation of Bobby Riggs

For his own trophy case, Jenner just has the Olympic gold medal, the Wheaties box ,and Can't Stop the Music.

And he looks cute, too, in a clog-and-fleece, horseback riding, women's college poet, organic farming, alternate Saturdays at the co-op kind of way. You might chat hir up at the bookstore reading or the public parks clean-up day. (The trannies tell me we are spelling it hir now. One must keep up-to-date. You see how I didn't say "abreast" just now?)

He is not fierce , or even camp. Just a girl next door trying to make it in a world that must not judge her love.

And while we're celebrating everyone's right to do their own thing, please support this guy.
He makes Wheaties display boxes.

And that, my friends, is what we mean by drawing-in.

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