Monday, October 8, 2007

Scary Small Print

One of the ways I enjoy television advertising is spotting the small print (like "you can't really do this. This is not true.")

Today I saw a statement I just had to investigate.
The way Veramyst works is not entirely understood.

Never has a percentage point been so interesting to me. 75% understood? 95% 7%?

How do we know it works at all? Does it work better than a Neti pot? I have so many questions.....

The FDA aproved Veramyst this past April, and it has been available to the sniffling public since May. It is a "once-daily ...Nasal Spray to treat seasonal and year-round allergy symptoms..."

fluticasone furoate - my Latin teacher (pause for giggling) once had a job naming pharmaceuticals. She told us this to prove there was a future in learning Latin. but we aren't talking about her right now.

WebMD explains it this way: 'Fluticasone furoate was developed using the fluticasone backbone and includes a 17-α position furoate ester sidechain. "

[:02 PAUSE] Oh.

And because I took Latin, and not chemistry, I can not explain that any further, except that it is a steroid. So find out if it shows up in your company's drug test.

Veramyst is not made by my favorite pharma company. (I was going to link, but just search this blog for Merck). This mysterious elixir is brought to you by GlaxoSmith, who used to make Flonase, the patent of which they let expire in 2004 (and I bet that is a Real Corporate email). As we say in the cube-row, "Boo Friggin Hoo."

So - ok, Veramyst -- why...would you use the word MYSTERY in your own name? Was "Beats the Hell Outta Us" taken?
Snake Oil?

The name of this drug, even Mrs. Smallwood would tell you, means True Mystery.

Please buy some.
and blow it up your nose. THEN PUT IT UP YOUR 3 YEAR OLD'S NOSE.
I have come unglued.

The patient information is downloadable in a 5 page PDF. Don't confuse it for your doctor; they have small print about that too.

"VERAMYST contains ...a man-made (synthetic) corticosteroid. Corticosteroids are natural substances found in the body that reduce inflammation." But not in my body, Glaxo? Thank you so much for making them for me. Please go back to growing ears on mice. (that isn't really fair; I believe it is Genzyme who grows the ears on mice)

There are several bullet points about just how to take the drug: don't take too much, don't take too's like Leviticus, "stoppeth not at 3 sprays, thou, which is an abomination. But if thou continuest past the 1 spray, in the sight of your brother's wife, continue unto 3.."

Possible side effects (as I always ask myself - are the side effects the same as the symptom you are treating? such as..) nosebleeds and nasal sores

or WORSE, such as fungal infection, glaucoma, and stunted growth? Candida albicans. That's a yeast infection. yay! More nozzles and passages. Hooray!=

The pamphlet also includes a diagram of 2 Myst bottles greeting each other in a ritual handshake.
The bottle is made of glass. I expect because the chemical eats through plastic. Please, please, put this into the passage that reaches your brain.

Pg 9 of the prescription information contains a "Meh" statement that says, essentially, steroids shrink nasal membranes, which seems to help you breath. And we found there was a market for that, however it works. Drano may also do that. But we don't own the patent.

I like this page, where you sign up for "free information," like our class action suit.

For proof that the Internet world will flame each other over anything, enjoy this bulletin board.

$85 on Make sure you take it every day, now, y'hear?


  1. Ah this would have made for some great Friday morning bacon chatter. I also paused at this commercial and did a mental blog in my head that I promptly forgot about as I do most ideas these days. I guess at least the side effects don't list causing more frequent bowel movements and the inability to control them.

    Dr. Oz - Oprah's "America's Doctor" - recommends the neti pot. Think I'll go with the old fashioned water in the nose. Also - doesn't saline also shrink nasal passages? The commercial for Veramyst reminds me of a cartoon for alien invasion. Maybe they found the recipe at Area 51.

  2. You had me at the ritual handshake.


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