Monday, October 22, 2007

Game Seven

Let me open with by expressing my covetous feelings toward Karen, who is at the game -- Game 7 -- and will no doubt post her own reflections on it, unless she is swallowed by a Landsdowne Street riot. I said, "I'll watch for you." She said,"Yeh, if some guy next to me has a real cool sign..."

Pregame:I am flipping between the preshow (Jeanne Zelasko: discuss) and Fiddler on the Roof, which is on channel 16. because that's how we roll, son.

By the way, remind me to tell you sometime how I stumbled onto Sunday Best (the gospel American Idol competition). but I'll have to do that later.

Inning by Inning - a real weblog
1. Jacoby Ellsbury looks like that drawing of Henry Huggins, doesn't he?

And while we're at it, what about

2. So far I think Mike Lowell is doing all the work. Kevin Millar introduced him as the biggest eyebrows in baseball. well, thanks for drawing that to my attention. I like how he just stands there and people hit the ball to him.

Dodie called to ask if I had ever heard of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. I hadn't.

You can look it up on your own. I'll tease you with this sentence:"For example, a family pet, such as a dog, may appear the size of a mouse, or a normal car may look shrunk to scale. "

This has not one thing to do with baseball. Unless it explains Julio Lugo.
we hang up.

3. I decide to check out the open chat on 112 fans online are just as dull as any other chat room, and just as delayed behind the action. Remember when I couldn't understand why anyone would have their compuer and their TV in the same room? I also didn't have cable that year.

I reheat the pizza. You should see this room; it's a regular man palace. I finally cleared the beer bottles, because I needed table space for more pizza. The remotes are everywhere, as are the pillows and the extension cords. If I hadn't left my nail kit right there after buffing, you might really think it was a frat house.

4. ALCS commercials I am really tired of
4a: Philaware-pragacago - whatever phone service you are, you are off my list
4b: Taco Bell guy with the lapdog
4c: (not the official commercial of the Davis family) I do like knowing that Zantac can give me better clothes and a boyfriend, as well as curing my heartburn
4d: Dane Cook. entirely. why are you yelling at me?

Jason, I love you, but you are the most inelegant spitter in a game full of inelegant spitting. Speaking of spitting, I hate to imagine the floor between Terry Francona's feet.

A brief note to Alice and Jason, who have not selected a name for their expected son - consider Drubal. If you choose Johnny in the end, please put the H in the right place. Who are we kidding, you would never choose a Cleveland name. We'll stick with Jacoby.

5. See, here's the thing: I really like fielding and base running. So I enjoy these 2nd base skirmishes and doubleplays much more than pitchers' duels. And I enjoy watching the Indians work the infield. And Lofton may very well have been safe. ssshhhh.

Francona removes a wad of gum the size of a peach from his mouth. Call eBay.

This inning has dragged and I have resorted to looking for Yaz footage on You Tube, then queuing up Ken Burns' baseball on Netflix.

6. Enter Okajima.The color commentary guy continues to tell the same story about Okajima's head position on delivery rather than spend some of the past 2 weeks learning anything else about him. Like the way I have been watching this broadcast for a week without learning the name of the color commentary guy.

I busied myself making more separated at birth collages. Would you just look at this summina-hummina?!

I want to hang this in my locker. I have settled for my desktop.

Do you notice how distracted I get in the middle third?
What did they do to Westbrook in this third? He just brought Veritek to his knee. His bad knee, in fact, and this may be a plot twist.

7. Was I right about Lugo, or what? But a double-play of our own makes his goofy error irrelevant, and we can use the offense to cover it up. I say "we," because you know I will have something to do with it.

Betancourt in/Westbrook out. 11pm.

HOME RUN PEDROIA! Things are looking very promising. I should have a mini-fridge moved in here.

8. Except that Okajima started slipping. Bring in the Goon!
In the middle, I file formal adoption papers for Jacoby Ellsbury.

Predicting series MVP: Beckett.

11:30pm - Cleveland starts to fall about, crashing into each other on the third base line. Their management, though, shows signs of actual strategy by loading the bases for Julio Let-me-Go.

It's all over but the car-tipping now, as we cruise 7 runs ahead. I realize this is bad baseball juju, but I figure I can delete it if I have to.

Jensen Lewis in to pitch to the last out. Not bloody likely!

9. 11:57. 11-2.
Game closed by a Keri Strugg move by Coco. Going to the show. It is snowing in Denver.
Instead of "I'm going to Disneyland, " Jason acknolwedges the excellence of the Cleveland Indians. Because that's how he rolls. Noble.

Good night everybody.


  1. Excelent! I never thought I'd laugh out loud while reading a commentary of a baseball game. But not just any baseball game (obviously).

  2. Congrats to the Sox!! As I think I've mentioned before, I have a lot of family that are die hard Sox fans, so they've always been my AL team. Good luck to them in the WS!


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