Friday, March 24, 2006

50 things about Cheez-its that will not change your life...

But will give you something to think about as you eat handfuls of them

1) Serving size = 27 crackers
2) My personal handful, which precipitated this stream of consciousness: 29. (I am very pleased with my precision)
3) 8 gm Fat, 250 mg sodium
4) I don’t count calories, because if they were real, they would not be whole numbers [not a fact about cheez-its. But something to think about]
5) Sunshine Bakers estimate 405 Cheez-its in my 1 lb box
6) This means one Cheez-it weighs .035 (repeating) ounce. This equals something metric.
7) I have named the cracker residue that builds up on your molars and must be extracted digitally…. Chipmunk Cheese
8) Sunshine Baker makes other products no one loves as much as Cheez-its: {oo, we’re going to get letters}
a.Hydrox (the vegetarian Oreo)
b.I got nuthin’
9) Lost Sunshine product : Lemon Cooler. So sad.
10) Sunshine: Keebler as Desani: Coca-cola. Both are owned by Opus Dei.
{not true – I just wanted more Google hits}
11) Cheez Nips: Cheez-its as Wrangler: Levis
12) There are 15 flavor varieties of ‘it
13) “’it” will never catch on, and I already regret it
14) Cheez-it flavors are unnecessary
15) There are 5 sizes, including SpongeBob shapes
16) I reject the large Cheez-it. What you are looking for it Triscuit or Ritz. Cheez-it requires no topping
17) Mini-cheezits are reconstituted Chipmunk Cheese. Do not eat them
18) The Cheez-it was invented in 1921
19) Keebler has buried all other fun facts about the Sunshine Biscuit Co.
20) Pound for pound, Cheez-its cost about $.00397 each. But you can not buy them in loosies.
21) Cheez-its gots Vitamins! 2% of your reccomended A! They do not work like One a Day.
22) Cheez-its are, sadly, not Atkins friendly.
23) Better Cheddar: Cheez-it as Host: Wonder
24) Cheez-its are not kosher! Kelloggs, how could you?
25) It seems like there used to be better odds of getting the slightly burnt, extra sharp, ones than there are today
26) Sidebar on snacks I remember fondly but no longer enjoy as much as I did in “them days”
Twigs
Doodads
Sociables
27) I keep Wheatables at work instead because I somehow think it is more professional. Discuss.
28) I left the Cheez-its box next to the TV. This was a judgement error and had to be remedied
29) I original thought there would be a “100 Things” list (kickin it Blog-style) but I am already tired
30) Cheez-its don’t need to advertise.
31) Sam’s Club’s price on Cheez-it’s 3 lb box: None ya beeswax. You have to be a member. And they don’t deliver the Cheez-its.
32) I originally looked up BJ’s. Never google the word “BJ”
33) I wrote this list on company time
34) I researched it on my own
35) I researched Cheez-its. But at least I am not part of the military-industrial complex
36) MREs should include Cheez-its
37) The 1 oz. Vending size contains 10 Cheez-its
38) AnySoldier post mail will accept your gift of food
39) You can not, however, use a Cheez-it as a postage stamp
40) Cheez-its should be on a postage stamp!
41) “Cheese it,” of course, means to “amskray,” but all of us together, not just you, ya pest
42) Would I t’row deese Cheez-its in the oven, if my friend Rocky was in dere? Uh… ye moight, Rabbit. Ye moight.
43) Hyperlinking is technology’s way of saying there is nothing wrong with attention deficit
44) Fiesta corn cheez-it is not a cheez-it
45) 137 eBay items match Cheez-it
46) Best one
47) Buyer beware: “box is empty”
48) Apparently, NASCAR:Cheez-it as white:rice
49) I do not know who Larry Pearson is
50) Cheez-it.com thinks there are only 3 FAQs. They have not tried.

5 comments:

  1. Hey there! Thanks for visiting my blog. I checked out both your blogs and they are very entertaining. Good stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  2. this was disturbingly entertaining. I hardly have 3 minutes in a day to powder my nose and yet I read every single item and visited every hyperlink. Do you think someone actually sleeps with Larry Pearson? I think maybe someone USED to.

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  3. Cheez-its are more addicting than crack cocaine, but I don't know that for sure. I've never tried crack.

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  4. I've smoked crack. Cheez-Its aren't as addicting.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I LOVE CHEEZ ITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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