who let that happen?

website layout is harder than you think.

The dog....does not make me want to hire you.

The guy... needs a shave

There's no burning bridges in baseball

Here's what you do today.

Call in sleepy. Be at the airport by 3:30 when the Sox plan arrives.

Unless you have awoken from this fantasy on being a 25 year old boy for the past month and have to put your pumps on for work.

I really got nothin' else. I am tired. It's cold in here. The sun is just rising. And have a loom to run.

more later.

Congratulations fellas. I love you all.

Tough break, Rockies. if you can't run with the Dirt Dogs, you know... stay under the porch.

Game Seven

Let me open with by expressing my covetous feelings toward Karen, who is at the game -- Game 7 -- and will no doubt post her own reflections on it, unless she is swallowed by a Landsdowne Street riot. I said, "I'll watch for you." She said,"Yeh, if some guy next to me has a real cool sign..."

Pregame:I am flipping between the preshow (Jeanne Zelasko: discuss) and Fiddler on the Roof, which is on channel 16. because that's how we roll, son.

By the way, remind me to tell you sometime how I stumbled onto Sunday Best (the gospel American Idol competition). but I'll have to do that later.

Inning by Inning - a real weblog
1. Jacoby Ellsbury looks like that drawing of Henry Huggins, doesn't he?

And while we're at it, what about

2. So far I think Mike Lowell is doing all the work. Kevin Millar introduced him as the biggest eyebrows in baseball. well, thanks for drawing that to my attention. I like how he just stands there and people hit the ball to him.

Dodie called to ask if I had ever heard of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. I hadn't.

You can look it up on your own. I'll tease you with this sentence:"For example, a family pet, such as a dog, may appear the size of a mouse, or a normal car may look shrunk to scale. "

This has not one thing to do with baseball. Unless it explains Julio Lugo.
we hang up.

3. I decide to check out the open chat on fox25.com. 112 fans online are just as dull as any other chat room, and just as delayed behind the action. Remember when I couldn't understand why anyone would have their compuer and their TV in the same room? I also didn't have cable that year.

I reheat the pizza. You should see this room; it's a regular man palace. I finally cleared the beer bottles, because I needed table space for more pizza. The remotes are everywhere, as are the pillows and the extension cords. If I hadn't left my nail kit right there after buffing, you might really think it was a frat house.

4. ALCS commercials I am really tired of
4a: Philaware-pragacago - whatever phone service you are, you are off my list
4b: Taco Bell guy with the lapdog
4c: (not the official commercial of the Davis family) I do like knowing that Zantac can give me better clothes and a boyfriend, as well as curing my heartburn
4d: Dane Cook. entirely. why are you yelling at me?

Jason, I love you, but you are the most inelegant spitter in a game full of inelegant spitting. Speaking of spitting, I hate to imagine the floor between Terry Francona's feet.

A brief note to Alice and Jason, who have not selected a name for their expected son - consider Drubal. If you choose Johnny in the end, please put the H in the right place. Who are we kidding, you would never choose a Cleveland name. We'll stick with Jacoby.

5. See, here's the thing: I really like fielding and base running. So I enjoy these 2nd base skirmishes and doubleplays much more than pitchers' duels. And I enjoy watching the Indians work the infield. And Lofton may very well have been safe. ssshhhh.

Francona removes a wad of gum the size of a peach from his mouth. Call eBay.

This inning has dragged and I have resorted to looking for Yaz footage on You Tube, then queuing up Ken Burns' baseball on Netflix.

6. Enter Okajima.The color commentary guy continues to tell the same story about Okajima's head position on delivery rather than spend some of the past 2 weeks learning anything else about him. Like the way I have been watching this broadcast for a week without learning the name of the color commentary guy.

I busied myself making more separated at birth collages. Would you just look at this summina-hummina?!

I want to hang this in my locker. I have settled for my desktop.

Do you notice how distracted I get in the middle third?
What did they do to Westbrook in this third? He just brought Veritek to his knee. His bad knee, in fact, and this may be a plot twist.

7. Was I right about Lugo, or what? But a double-play of our own makes his goofy error irrelevant, and we can use the offense to cover it up. I say "we," because you know I will have something to do with it.

Betancourt in/Westbrook out. 11pm.

HOME RUN PEDROIA! Things are looking very promising. I should have a mini-fridge moved in here.

8. Except that Okajima started slipping. Bring in the Goon!
In the middle, I file formal adoption papers for Jacoby Ellsbury.

Predicting series MVP: Beckett.

11:30pm - Cleveland starts to fall about, crashing into each other on the third base line. Their management, though, shows signs of actual strategy by loading the bases for Julio Let-me-Go.

It's all over but the car-tipping now, as we cruise 7 runs ahead. I realize this is bad baseball juju, but I figure I can delete it if I have to.

Jensen Lewis in to pitch to the last out. Not bloody likely!

9. 11:57. 11-2.
Game closed by a Keri Strugg move by Coco. Going to the show. It is snowing in Denver.
Instead of "I'm going to Disneyland, " Jason acknolwedges the excellence of the Cleveland Indians. Because that's how he rolls. Noble.

Good night everybody.

Real Corporate Drawing In

The subscribers of Real Corporate Email, many of whom also read this site (because I shamelessly promote it in my signature), have been encouraging me to plug

The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks

And so here you are, because I am out of material. Not completely out ("completely" out), because I have something churning ("Thinking is Writing," we used to say in the writing lab. And we did really say it, so I can quote it.)

Enjoy this blog. Blogger's photo upload is not functioning at the moment, so I cannot tease you with some of this week's submissions.

It is Found meets Engrish meets a little bit of PostSecret.

But I refuse to use the word Mash-up because it is silly branded slang for things we already have words for -- words like celebrity math and portmanteau.

The Quotation mark blog contains so many links to other blogs of this kind that I won't provide anymore. I'll just waste the rest of the evening reading them all.

Then I realized that RCE really does need a page of its own.

Never Overload the Autoclave

or... why you should be nice to your beauty therapist.

Here in the states, we say Aesthetician, but in the YOO-kay, I learned this evening, one is a Beauty Therapist. I learned this by recording from the Beauty Therapist textbook, and I want you to know, the ladies you pay to pluck your hair have to learn a lot more than you think they do.

This book was 580 pages long, plus another 20 of notes and bibliography, and everything that was in the back of your textbooks. It was also Level 2, which means there is a prerequisite.

And just because the chapter headings are "Wax," "Manicure," "Nail art," and the like, don't think there are not detailed explanations of anatomy, labor law, workplace safety, chemistry (talk about your side effects), and the like.

If this is what socialised (with an S) medicine (pronounced med-cine) will get you, I'm listening.

Publisher's statement:

Habia is the government approved standards setting body for hair, beauty, nails, spa therapy, barbering and African-Caribbean hair, and creates the standards that form the basis of all qualifications including NVQs, SVQs and Apprenticeships, as well as codes of practice.
Government approved standards.

This is not the kind of post that interests you much, I know, but it fascinates me, and you would probably never spend 11 years of your life reading textbooks for other people's professions.

1. Beauty Therapists speak Latin!

like Paronychia. Naevus vasculosis. Pediculus humanus capitis. that's head lice. See how much more musical the Latinates can be?

2. It's British!

Which gave me the opportunity to say, in my very American accent, "whilst," "in hospital," and "take exercise."

You are already wondering why someone in the states needs to get Habia-certified?

(You are also wondering about blind beauty therapists, but I am ignoring you...lalalalala....)

I have no idea. I just read.

So here's why you need to be nice to your beauty therapist:

- because I had just to describe impetigo, and I need to lie down. I don't have to look at it on others.

- because she just wanted to work in a salon; she didn't know she was going to have to learn about insurance liability.

- because she knows what an autoclave is, AND that there is a difference between sterilising (with an S) and disinfecting.

It's a pressure sterilizer. This is one.

But so is THIS.

If your beauty therapist has the 2nd one, check into another spa.

- because of where she touches you.

- because that book is heavy.