Friday, May 11, 2012

Warning twinges

Knowing my love of Madison Avenue's attempt to explain Women to ourselves, Carol sent this:

Long before couples were setting up bathtubs on hillsides, and cautioning us that Trizominex is not for everyone, but do (DO) ask your doctor... And long before Madison Avenue stopped making us READ so much COPY...
Li'l Pharma promised us everything and delivered .....

Let's break it down. 
Not even your mother has heard of this.

So what the hell was it?
So you're suffering from "periodical indisposition," and you were supposed to meet this other couple and their stag friend inside a Thurber cartoon, but you just have these depressing pains.

And this is a...drug?

I know what that is.  What's KAMNIA?   
An excellent play!  Circle gets to open...
The Antikamnia chemical company claimed their name meant "opposed to pain."  In what language, is anyone's guess.  I can not find a word origin.  The Google translator detected it as Filipino.  Possibly because I used the word Filipino in yesterday's post, and Google is highly impressionable.

In fact, it is difficult to break past Google's insistence that you mean KAMINA, which will take you down some anime/plushy path that is hard to back out of.  This is K-A-M-N-I-A.  But then "thousands of women just ask for A-K."

How many should I take?
One.  or Two.   We're not doctors.

What's in it?
I am so glad you asked.  May I approach the bench?

Citing the case of  United States v. Antikamnia Chemical Co., 231 U.S. 654 (1914), the plaintiff claimed the defendant had violated the Food and Drug by failing to specify the product contained acetanilid,

I swear your answers just beg more questions.
It's true.  The Internet is like that.  I started this post 2 years ago.
Acetanilid is what we used to take before aspirin, and before it was found to be more beneficial as photographic developer.  If you want more than that, you'll have to ask someone who took high school chemistry.

What about "always sure - always safe"?

Sometimes they're wrong.  Did your headache go away, though?

I do hate to give up all idea of a party.
Then Get Liberated, Sister.  Put on your white shorties and ride your bicycle over there.  You've got some well-earned relaxation due.

 (You may also forget what season it is, and wear a sweater and a hat with your shorties)


  1. Eventually, it doesn't matter! Now it's just Advil by the ton.

  2. Or any combination of ANSAIDS and Osteo-BiFlex that lends any relief for what ails you. Eventually you need them for other pains that are just as debilitating. And you have to remember not to ruin your stomach in the process!!! M


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