Monday, March 16, 2009

What's the deal with nursery themes?

Sorry I haven't checked in in a while. I never think I am quite as interesting as you seem to. But I do appreciate the drop-by. It is 9:30 and I feel like I could fall asleep right here, which will be a regrettable mistake come 4:30 am, so thanks for keeping me company. Here is what I am thinking about.

The number of pregnant women in my life has been upped to 5, but the newest one is still a secret. no, it's not who you think it is. You don't even know her. But twice today I learned that the baby was "active." Their planets are calling them home. Or maybe just the full moon.

These are the common themes in my daily conversation, and speaking of themes...
What I want to wonder about is
why do we think the nursery needs a theme?

If Baby needed a theme, it would be this. Wouldn't you love to, just to tweak your mother-in-law?

Also on that list:
Mardi Gras
State flowers and birds
Early American primatives
Periodic table of elements (I know a lot of you lost this battle with the spouse)

Is it just that you have to "do" the baby's room anyway, so you might as well have a creative outlet about it? No one ever does the room in shabby chic with chianti drip candles. I have been in homes where the baby's room is the only room decorated at all. Oh, which reminds me...

Duck decoys (you know who you are)

Pottery Barn kids is not a theme, so much as a...gestalt. One's basket shelves do make the nursery.
In her teen years, Greatest of all Sisters had a groovy theme featuring either a smiley face rug or a hang-ten foot. I don't remember which, but Dodie will. The theme was Hippy Sunshine, in that vibrant 70s yellow-and-orange that they later learned makes people insane. I have a separate essay coming on sunshine yellow.

My schtick was Peanuts. Curtains, bedset, posters.

Some of you know this story.
I let the Peanuts theme hang on far too long, but not long enough to become ironic. One night when Sister had her terribly cool friends over, and Dodie and I were in my room playing chess (which we thought overrode our Toughskins) one of these teen heartthrobs wandered in to faux flirt with us.

I thought we were pulling it off, too, until he said, looking around at the Cowabunga poster, not yet replaced by this monstrosity and he said,

"Is this your little sister's room?"

Your theme can turn on you. Just like that.
And then one day, your precious Madison Jason Ru'Mala is painting over the giant Paddington you so lovingly traced using the overhead projector you borrowed from the media closet with a roller laden with chalkboard paint. The Noah's ark throw and the dumptruck border will all be retired to the scrap heap. Maybe that's what the theme is for -- so you'll know when the babyhood is over.


  1. You forgot to mention Classic Pooh. :-)

    But yeah... I think the last line is the truism.

  2. so much to comment on.....
    first of all, every room could use a tiny blast of sunshine yellow. it's like a little shot of tequila everyone needs.
    also, i considered a black and white theme for this nursery, but the walls are already green - so i'm going with that. and when i mentioned painting, i saw all the life drain out of joe's face.
    diego rivera theme is too much of a commitment with all the murals.
    (reminds me of my frida kahlo/unibrow nightmare i had night before last, but i digress...)
    mardi gras just turns tacky come ash wednesday. it's like the mardi gras themed party on the friday after - eye roll.....
    and your peanuts theme was clearly wicked awesome, and that boy was a moron. he didn't get peanuts philosophy, which is freakin ageless!!!
    that is all, for now, dear cousin. :)

  3. I can say for the elderly first time mothers out there .. you will spend a month looking at the themed items, you will realize you are way,way too old to think they are charming in any way (except perhaps for classic pooh), if you are blessed to be from the south your relatives (who previously would not have mentioned your frightening delay because they are too polite) will actually sew all the needed items in your selected color scheme. I always advise picking out colors and items that you will find soothing ... the wonderful part is that, at first, that baby only looks at you. Later, of course, one presumes it will be whatever the 21st century version of Baby Chrissy/Star Wars/Bee Gees turns out to be ...


Comments Build Community! We thank you for yours. Spam comments are not welcome and will not be posted.