Sunday, December 21, 2008

Single girls have taco night too

Miss Bender knows how you young marrieds operate: with your theme dinners, and chore charts, and your coveted taco nights. She wants you to know, before you get thinking Cozier Than Thou, that single girls have taco night too.

But it isn't as easy.

You already know the drudgery of the prep work, especially if you want a decent taco, what with the tomatoes, the onions, the yadda yadaa... And it seems sort of stupid to chop half a cup of onion so you can sprinkle 7 diced pieces into your taco shells. But it isn't taco night without it, is it?

Imagine how long it takes 1 person to use up even a pint of sour cream.

The Taco Kit is designed to work against the single girl. TWELVE shells? Are you kidding me? I can't possibly eat all those before they go wrong (and a taco shell goes a special kind of wrong that actually has a smell). Ortega has worked out some kind of resealable box -- excuse me, website worthy Freshness Pack -- which is not really resealable. But to be fair, the website doesn't claim that it is either. I just fell for it.

Crispy or Soft? Discuss. To me, I am 70s enough to have been taught that tacos are crispy and burritos are soft -- which was not based in truth, I think. Here's something you'll never click about that. Why don't we ever call it Burrito Night? My workmates will tell you I'll eat just about anything wrapped in a soft tortilla, but can you imagine setting up a Taco fixin's bar in your workplace?

Reminds me of Molly Ringwald pulling that sushi set-up out of her bag in the library.

But there I go again, trying to turn my workplace into a John Hughes movie.

I've got my 12 taco shells, my full pound of meat, my painstakingly diced toppings... how many tacos can a person eat, anyway? In my prime (and by that, I mean 6th grade, when there were 3 other people to split the taco box) I could take 6. Or maybe that was just a personal best one night. Or maybe it was just a fantasy... I don't really remember anymore. Nowadays, it's really 2. I want 3, but that's a mistake. Like onion rings.

And isn't that too much trouble for 2 tacos? I would have to eat tacos 6 days in a row. Please do not suggest going out for tacos. I live in New England. If I find a decent Mexican (or even generic Latino Norte) restaurant, I am ordering the mole. Here's a recipe requiring 25 ingredients and 8 hours of work.

Fish tacos? Please. I like fish, and I like tacos. I am not going to mix them. This goes double for
Thai Chicken pizza
Tomato Smoothie
Cucumber Soup "Nothing says summer like cold cucumber soup." Yuh-hunh... "Mango-rita" does pretty well.

The video is for Jen. It never fails to make her laugh.


  1. carrie stirs in a couple of spoonfuls of nestle quik into a can of hot enchillada sauce, and she swears it passes for mole. i'll email her for the specifics, but she was on a big kick with that little concoction for a while.
    we haven't done taco night in ages. i wonder if jacks is old enough to appreciate it.

  2. one more thing - the best tomato smoothie i know of consists of tomato juice, pepper, and lots of vodka! otherwise, what's the point?

  3. Having crunched tacos all over the place on many occasions, I prefer to have taco salad with the shell crushed up in it or the big taco salad bowl with everything in it. Of course, that means going out (or pick up at Wendy's) neither of which appeal to this single girl very much. M.

  4. You can always come to our place for Taco Night. A few weeks ago, we hosted "Tamale Sunday" that was fun. Every try to find corn husks in New England???

  5. From my single days:
    If you don't want to taco-ize a whole pound of meat, create your own taco seasoning with chili powder, paprika, ground cumin, onion powder, garlic powder, cornstarch and a little cayenne pepper. Buy pre-shredded cheese (it keeps a long time and has other uses) and stop at the salad bar in your local grocery to grab enough lettuce, tomato, onion and what-have-you for the toppings. As you say, the shells are the problem. There doesn't seem to be a way to buy less than 8. You could buy some tortilla chips and make some sort of taco-y nachos, but that's just not the same.

  6. ok i can't get past the phrase "taco night".

  7. I bet I could change your mind re:fish tacos. Rosarito, MX has some of the best, but even the ones at Rubios (a chain) are very good. They do require a bit of effort to make at home, however. Recipe here:
    The advantage of using soft shells is that they keep forever in the fridge. Just heat them up, to soften, before using.

  8. Sorry, link got truncated.

  9. I'm doing something wrong! Just google "rubios recipe".

  10. I haven't actually tried it yet, but I think you can freeze the shells.

  11. 1) If you lived in Texas this would not be a problem
    2) Crack up the remaining taco shells and pretend they are chips. Eat with Salsa. You will have no trouble eating that many chips.
    3) Buy frozen onions. Dispense as needed.
    3) Throw the excess away. The starving children in china do not want your taco shells. T.


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