Sunday, December 30, 2007

20 words for snow

If it's must be snowing. Does this kind of talk ever get boring? get yer own blog.

Do you love that? That is literally Nanook.

20 words for snow, explained
1. flurries: very exciting October or May event. Otherwise it is not worth commenting on except by weathermen, who are just lonely

2. pretty: first snowfall of the season, unless it is flurries.

3. soft: a heavy snowfall that is eerily silent. This is hard to appreciate over the sound of reversing plows, but country folk do enjoy walking in it

4. romantic or moonlit: pretty snow under a full moon. Happy Couples get giddy making angels.

5. virgin: the pasture before some sap makes an angel in it. At a stretch, your backyard before the oilman arrives.

6. snowman: Used in the redundant phrase "good snowman snow." You would never refer to "bad snowman snow," as that has its own name (below), and what else would you make a snowman with, genius? "This is good snowman ketchup." Snowman snow packs tight, stays packed, and hurts like hell when you are hit with it.

7. christmas: self-explanatory. I can not describe it personally.

8. powder: wicked bad snowman snow. Easy to shovel, but blows right back to where it was.

9. pellets: consistency of a Slush Puppy (even the dog is afraid of brain freeze. check the hat). Tiny BBs of ice whose only purpose is to make you pratfall.

10. sleet: technically, neither rain or snow, but the mailman still delivers. In the same ambiguous way, you can't call out of work for it, but you could die driving in it.

11. blizzard: more technicalities. Meterologists have specific criteria for this term, but they also name Hurricanes and STAND in them. So let's call it what it is - one fierce blinding snow you shouldn't be out in. Capitalized, it stands only for 1978.

12. crunchy: morning-after snow, now hardened. You could cut yourself making an angel.

13. glaze: crunchy snow that has been rained on, then refrozen to a blinding shine. Do not sled on glaze.

14. cement: snow you have failed to farm.

15. sandy: same snow 3 days later, now heavier.

16. slippery: falling snow that hits the road. "It's getting slippery!" everyone says, with wonder, as if this is unexpected behavior for wet roads.

17. treacherous: Slippery snow turned evil, brother-in-arms of Black Ice.

18. slushy: snow + sand + soft-serve, funnelled through tire treads and onto your windshield

19. sloppy: slushy + 1 rush hour

20. dirty: The plow drift by the side of the road which has been driven by so long it has taken on the look of the Utah desert. Snow we are sick of. And will be glad to see covered by something soft and pretty.

1 comment:

  1. When I sang with an a cappella chamber choir about 10 years ago, the choir director liked to do new works. We did one by a Brookline, Massachusetts composer that was twenty words for snow in Inuit. It was not written on a usual staff, but was swoops and forms like snow drifts. Quite a challenge for choir and conductor alike. I like your twenty words better!


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