Practical Mathematics

The ghost of Rasputin has won a mathematical prize for disproving the theory "a doughnut shape cannot be transformed into a sphere without ripping it, although any shape without a hole can be stretched or shrunk into a sphere."

This math problem, proposed in 1904 (one presumes at a Boy Scout camp or the St Louis World's Fair) concerns the field of topology, which does not allow for simply wadding the donut into a ball (also known as the Wonder Conundrum).

Krispy Kremes do this best.

Instead, the mathematician used algebra to prove that it could be done. When algebra and geometry start sleeping together, I head for the hills.

Now that I know there is a market for solutions to real-life conjecture using higher math, I am taking to my cabin to prove or disprove the following:

1. A pizza can not be evenly divided among 3 people without 1 falsely claiming she had all her allotted pieces, although a Hawaiian pizza can be presumed in any department-wide order exceeding 3 pies.

2. The amount of time provided for you to speak in the meeting will be inversely proportionate to the amount of time you spent preparing for it.

3. If someone is in the woods to hear it, a truck will be backing up.

4. You can not lose if you hold on to Boardwalk and Park Place, regardless of the number of opponents or length of play.

5. Working mothers, plotted on a graph, form a breast curve.

6. Every good boy does not, in the main, do fine.

7. It is in the last place you looked.