Sunday, September 20, 2009

From the wings

If the Drawing In Room has any traditions, it may be my annual Oscar blogcast play-by-play, which is written live, even if posted shortly after the fact.
2009, 2008, 2007

I wondered if I should attempt the same with the Emmys, even though I stopped watching broadcast TV about 2 years ago. I weaned slowly -- Grey's Anatomy kept me hooked for a few seasons, until I found you could watch it on-line. And the Office, 30 Rock, and really... it's cold down there where the TV is.

So I upped my Netflix count, unhooked the VCR (so quaint, Amish) and gave it up.
But I do love my awards shows. I still love the buzz of the new TV season, even if it is hard
to find the freshness under the reality, procedurals, and vampires.

When Neil Patrick Harris himself asked me to tune in (by way on an ad on 60 Minutes, which I
don't watch either. You can get it on podcast.) I thought I would join the culture, if only for a few hours.

And guess what I forgot: Massachusetts got a Senate race in it! And a Mayor's race. And a Governor's race. Oh, dear MY, will this be a long evening. For your amusement, I will try to tally the # of appeals and approvals.

Here... we...go.

[8:00] Opening number is a gas, complete with white sport coat.
Vanessa: why you be hatin' the glasses gag? When I was a college freshman, we got our whole floor to wear hats for the group photo. Maybe a good sport woulda won.

People's voting? Oh, ATAS, why stoop so low? We already have that awards show.
Scoring the Emmys is a pretty good get for CBS, who gets to plug all their own shows during the breaks (when not selling me a Senator). CBS has not been king for a very long time, even though they ruled the airwaves during my childhood.

Justin Timberlake is starting to look like Ryan Phillipe. Now that's a sammich.

I think I could have lived my whole live without hearing Toni Collette's real voice. How does someone win the Emmy and get such little applause in the hall? That's weird.

CBS is going to get some angry letters about the Family Guy segment.

I really don't care for reality shows, and I'll tell you why.

10. I am not very competitive by nature. I am not at all competitive about rooting for other people where sports are not involved.
9. Judges are mean. Isn't it enough to make yourself vulnerable to strangers and discover you are unqualifies for your life's dream, without being ridiculed too?

8. The crazy production values with the long pauses, flashing lights, cliffhanger commercial breaks and schizophrenic interior design.

7. These people are not celebrities. Stop it, America

6. "I'm not here to make friends."

5. Day-after quarterbacking around the office. I recognize that if I watched these shows AND if I enjoyed them, I would enjoy this too. But there you are.

4. Tension played for entertainment. I have medical shows for that, thank you.

3. D list TV actors and former child stars make me sad

2. I predict a merging of dating/professional intervention/competition shows very soon

1. Jon Kate

Reality Host is a category? CBS 2010 program note: So you think you can Host.

9:00pm The Windows 7 commercial has aired twice already. One of its reviews praises it as "Stable."
Blink. Blink.

9:15pm Possibly the first academy acknowledgement of an organ donation.

I invite all Netflix members to rediscover the golden age of TV mini-series - 1978-1988.

Another list:

1. Roots - but of course

2. East of Eden - ACTING!
3. Centennial4. North & south - RIP, Patrick

5. Thorn Birds - KISS ME ON MY MOUTH!

6. Shogun

7. one more Richard Chamberlin - Count of Monte Cristo

8. Little Women

9. Rich Man, Poor Man

10. Backstairs at the white House

9:30pm Award Show rule #1: the film with Nazis in it will win

I found myself wondering recently what Winston Churchill would sound like in an ordinary
conversation, say at breakfast. Asking if the dry cleaning was ready to be picked up that day.
We should make one of those "first family" comedy albums featuring Winston Churchill, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Edward R Morrow at a spa.

Casting note: Put Patricia Arquette and Glen Close in a mother/daughter film. Call HBO.  Also Charlize Theron and Katherine Heigl. Get back to me.

Speaking of Katherine Heigl. I have not seen too many of the Grey's crew here tonight. A more faithful viewer would know who was nominated. I did fall hard for the season closer, but I don't know if I will remember to watch next Sunday.

Does America "get" Neil Patrick Harris? This tone is awfully "coastal."

Explore Dr Horrible on your own time.

9:33pm Jessica Lange flashes a little tat under her jewelry. I count on Entertainment Weekly
to get to the bottom of this for us in their re-cap. A real Blogger would have the connections to look into it live -- or even a live connection -- but that's not what you come here for, is it?

Why DO you come here?

On this commercial break, I would like to tell you about a new pita chip made by Cedar's. Do not eat them -- unless they are dipped in queso.

Sprint's commercial is set in the Guggenheim, where I am fairly sure you can not take or make a phone call.

10:00pm - political checkpoint. Only (1) each Mayor, Governor, Senator ad. Mayor for life Tom Menino wants to remind you that in your adult years of civic awareness, he has always been mayor. don't mess with it.

10:11pm - The Windows ad... one more time.
10:15pm DRAMA
or... Cops, Lawyers, Docs, and other franchises

You know, this show really isn't as fun as the Globes. More alcohol please.

I am sorry that Chandra Wilson is considered a Supporting Actress. She had such a presence in the first 2 seasons of Grey's. If I had been on Facebook then, she would have been my profile pic.

Matthew Weiner has a wife.

One of the CSIs should do an episode where the victim appears to have been killed by a vampire, but it is revealed that the wings of an Emmy were the actual weapon.

10:45pm. Not much longer now. I will predict the guy who plays Dexter, you know, David Fisher.
Man, I miss Six Feet Under. I may have to watch that all over again.

Predicting Mad Men for drama; 30 Rock for comedy. This is the honor system.
Great cable series you should look into if you have been living without cable

1. Sopranos

2. Six Feet Under

3. Big Love

4. Weeds

5. Entourage. I haven't seen it myself. But everyone says you should.

I will have to read more about Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen.

Happy New Season, America.


  1. It's funny - I actually agree 100% with all of the reasons you give for not liking Reality TV. And yet I like it anyway. Crazy, I know.

  2. I have actually seen ALL of the mini-series in your list. That's a first!! I don't like reality shows and don't watch them. Sometimes I watch Dancing with the Stars because of the grace and costumes. Plus the judges have been so far the least objectionable to listen to. M.


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