Ruined forever by Wally Cleaver

#5 in an occasional series of repressed 70's memories that turn out to be true.

In 1975, there was plenty of beefcake on primetime TV for the adolescent girl to enjoy.

Monday- Chad Everett
Pretty late for the kids, but Mom liked him too, so there were exceptions on a schoolnight.

Tuesday - Fonz/Barbarino back to back.

Must Squeal TV

Wednesday - Michael Landon

Though Manly was a few years off, Pa could still make a girl's heart race, even if it was a little creepy that you wished he was your Pa

Thursday - Michael Douglas

After all those weak Walton boys, he was one smooooth operator. Check out Erin here, less adept at tea than Ben.

Friday - Chico... or M*A*S*H? Chico...or M*A*S*H

No debate for me -- I was an Alan Alda girl all the way

Saturday - Randy MANTOOTH

mee-ow.

Sunday - Lee Majors

That head should be on action figure

in slow motion

They were "hunky," "foxy," Tiger Beat pretty, all hairy and ankle-booted.

But it was too late by 8pm. Because the afternoon had been kicking it old school. And even in their scalloped gym shorts and knee high socks, those slices of cheese couldn't hold a candle to the chinoed charm of 1950s dreamboats from afterschool TV.

Tony Dow did not age very well, mainly because he had to do it in the same era of cheese and Members Only that his younger self was competing against. He got pasty, and man-permed, and lost his Adonis edge. In his prime, though, he could stand in front of a mirror, and comb that wavy pompador for 24 minutes and I wouldn't have needed the rest of the Cleavers or even a plot.


No one is dreamier than that. Unless it is Tim Considine.

Spin and Marty were the rugged jeans-and-white T duo on the Mickey Mouse Club who met cute at a Dude Ranch and became BFFs of the Triple R (yippee-a-ay, yippee-oh). Tim, on the right, was also Frank Hardy on the same show, which was not at all confusing AND the original oldest brother on My Three Sons. Which meant if the stars were in your favor, you could see him 3 times in one week. And what's better than that?

Maybe Dwayne Hickman

Why couldn't Dobie Gillis ever get the girl? Clearly I just liked white pants.

You know who looked great in white pants was Billy Gray of Father Knows Best. He could rock a black t-shirt, all sinewed arts and dirty hands, trapped in a houseful of women until Marcus Welby came home.

If you do watch that entire clip, please write in and identify Jane Wyatt's accent.

I am now imagining a Wally/Bud sammich and must be left alone to enjoy that.

Sometimes I don't have a point. I just like to surf.