Friday, July 13, 2007

Middle-Aged ladies and Their Girdles

As a child, I lived in dread of nearly everything, especially the inevitable, which I believed included red body hair and sanitary belts. In a world before Levi's Bend Over slacks and Underalls, women's undergarments were para-industrial, and required a network of pulleys and levers that seemed unnavigable.

I thought that, like a bra, this restraint device was my inevitable future. I was going to have to learn it. Bra (underwire, natch, with 18 hr control), girdle, garter (even though pantyhose had certainly been invented, mine was a household of stocking), slip. Clothes.
As we used to say at 'GBH, "I can't see a thing through that corset!"

It is really no wonder that I lived in Toughskins until shamed out of them by the 1980s.

Why I bring this up is that today I ordered a foundation garment of such mod'run design and construction, it is apparently sacred.

"We admit we are powerless to our flab..."

Please enjoy the idea of these religious undergarments before I ruin the effect for you. These are not "higher power" panties, as in, "A Power greater than ourselves can restore us to the size 8 we will never be again." But higher "power panties," as in, they fit higher up your gut than the original.

And that is too bad. Because the idea of a 12-step program to stop rolling out of my pantyhose (now understanding the preference for stockings) while sitting down was giving me hope.

I carry you this message all the same. The woman in this photo is much younger than the people who typically purchase from this particular catalog.


  1. Did you get the Spanx? It is the fashion undergarment.... they breathe anyway....

  2. freakin' hilarious!!!

    i am now making the decision to turn over my flab and my thighs to my higher power panties.

  3. Girdles are super sexy , period .
    So please wear one !

  4. At least you never wore (and I never will again) the Playtex 18 hour girdle!! When taking it off at the end of the day, it sounded like a surgeon removing h/her gloves after surgery -- not a pleasant sound at all! M


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