I can not take any credit for this post. It is exactly as sent to me by the Baronness. Now in the general archive with other great overheard lines in our liturgy, like:
B.
"You've ruined shopping!"
"She never took communion."
"Daaaammnn, Shinelle!"
and "Meet me there and I can show you the Ghandi book."
If you like things overheard, check out http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/.
A great little diversion between whatever work you are supposed to be doing. Adult content warning.
Anyway, here in it's entirety... Overheard on the subway.
2 women with neck tattoos (in their 40s) and very elaborate nail and hair dos.
First one (with little mick-n-moe tattoo) says - "When I took my new apartment I had to go and get rid of a warrant."
Second lady: "Which warrant?"
First one (with little mick-n-moe tattoo) says - "When I took my new apartment I had to go and get rid of a warrant."
Second lady: "Which warrant?"
First: "The one from 21 years ago - my problem with the ice pick." [Pause] Did you know you can't get rid of a warrant for a violent crime? There's no statute of limitations on nailing your man with an ice pick."
Second one: "Didn't he drop the charges?"
First one: "mmm yea - he didn't want me applying it anywhere else, you know."
Second: "Did you get the apartment?"
First: "Yes, yes I did. I told them you know the courts, there's always a screw up somewhere."
Second: "Or a screw loose." {rim shot}
They part around 139th street.
Second one: "Didn't he drop the charges?"
First one: "mmm yea - he didn't want me applying it anywhere else, you know."
Second: "Did you get the apartment?"
First: "Yes, yes I did. I told them you know the courts, there's always a screw up somewhere."
Second: "Or a screw loose." {rim shot}
They part around 139th street.
First : "See you later Serena."
Second: "See you later 'Picky'. I almost forgot how you got your name, until today. Meet you tonight.
I only had to go 90 more blocks with Picky, now sitting next to me.
~Baronness
I only had to go 90 more blocks with Picky, now sitting next to me.
~Baronness
I couldn't decide on which photo should end this post. You "pick."
A.
B.
Oh thank you so much for this! So freak'n funny.
ReplyDeleteI should look up any warrants that might be out for me.... oh you know the unpaid parking tickets from days at Emerson... or any unpaid EXCISE taxes.. you know like Obama did before he decided to run for President!
PETE