Saturday, May 26, 2007

Solve YOUR problem, not THE problem

I am indebted to KF for sending this item, which was recommended to her by her G-mail, which thinks she is prissy, or old, or both.

SweetPee. The product you didn't know you needed, and still aren't convinced about.
here are the highlights:
Some women invented a disposable trough (judging by the drawings, about the size of a shoe) to use in order to urinate standing up.
So let me say this first: it is possible without a trough, and if you don't believe me, rent The Full Monty.

But then you have to understand the premise that motivated these inventors, in their own words:
"We ...have always had an issue with germs....We wear a mask on airplanes, request two bed sheets and pillow cases in hotel rooms, use a straw rather than put our lips on a restaurant glass, just to name a few of our fears."
It's a wonder they urinate at all, really.
They are still in talks with Norplant about a permanently installed Foley.
I made that part up.

The FAQs are a delight! Here are a few:
Must you throw My SweetPee away after using it?
Oh, MUST I? I am so cheap. Even at $1 a piece when I buy in bulk, I hate to throw things away. Don't the germ-phobes and the hoarders intersect somewhere?
Please do not throw it on the floor behind the door.
Which way do most women prefer to stand while using My SweetPee?
"...most women prefer to face away from the toilet." How much do you want to see the market research?

How does one hold the shield in place?
"...Shape My SweetPee sides like a funnel with your hands."
Somehow this seems less germy to these women than hands-free squatting.

My favorite line on the whole website:
"...invented and patented My SweetPee after many years of research and development."
Imagine that research. Now imagine the pitch meeting.
"I was almost reduced to tears at an airport in a third world country when I saw that the toilet facilities for women were nothing more than holes on the floor...."
I was unmoved by their inability to vote, drive, own property, or speak above a whisper. I also never read a tour book before I went to a third world country. And did you know there was no ranch dressing there?!

"It truly is the answer to my prayers..."
God snickered just now. But in a loving way.

Damn right I sit right down. But then I only go twice a day, as anyone who knows me will tell you.

Best news for you venture capitalists: The SweetPee patent is for sale. Call them to buy now before someone snatches up (oh yes I did) this idea.

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