Predictions:Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique
Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz
Screenplay(s): Up in the Air; A Serious Man
Actor: Jeff Bridges
Actress: Helen Mirren
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Picture: The Hurt Locker
Dodie reports that she was originally going to bring Green Day as her escorts, in a kind of Grammy/Oscar lovefest, but at the last minute changed to Colin Firth -- one of her regulars. This is not just insurance toward getting into the right parties, and getting to hold the statue. She does often take him. I might say the same for Clooney, who I may have taken last year. Like the winners themselves, one rarely remembers one's date a year later. I am afraid that my date will lose to hers, and that's all right. My date is more fun. And looks less like Charles Nelson Reilly.
At 7:59 I turned into an old person when I turned on the TV to…STATIC. Just snow. And for a second I estimated how quickly I could get registered in a hotel before the show began. Could I find a Chinese website that was pirate broadcasting? Would I watch all four hours in Chinese? Should I yank out all these cables as if I know what I am doing?
Would I remember to call 1-800-COMCAST?
The rep’s tier one support for people calling from Del Boca Vista pointed out that I should never change channels ON the TV set, only through the remote. I am pleased to report that my heart was not pounding as I defused this bomb.
I don’t usually spend time on the red carpet, but now I feel I must earn this privilege.
Should Sarah Jessica Parker and Patricia Wettig do something together? Get me a treatment.
8:15pm getting my bevvy. Though according to Whoopi, it will make me wet myself. I am dumbfounded by this ad.
If Taylor Lautner were any prettier, he would be spun glass. It’s like a Boy Band is missing their tenor.
8:30 – and awa-a-a—ay we go.
I am fine with big production numbers. In fact, I saw more dancing in that opening number than in all of The Lion King, which I saw this afternoon. I’ll write more about that later this week, I guess. This year’s Oscars is directed by a choreographer, and we are promised more of this as the evening goes on. Some people don’t go for it, but what’s Golden Hollywood without it?
Best Supporting Actor
Have I mentioned how annoyed I am that Netflix won’t send me Inglourious Basterds? I realize that is not what the category is officially called, but it is what we all say.
Basterds – 1
8:55 – Best Animated Feature Now that Up has won in the animated category, we have to wonder if it rules it out of Best Picture. Most probably. Wouldn’t it be cool to see it win both, though? I smell an immediate rule change.
Basterds – 1
Up - 1
9:00pm – Best Original Song
Crazy Heart was best described by dear Otto who said, shouldn’t something happen in a film based on 3 people’s lives? Tender Mercies starring unpleasant people. But yes, YES to that music. Sometimes I get Ry Cooder and T-Bone Burnett mixed up. Ry Cooder just made an album with the Chieftains about the San Patricios, Irish soldiers who fought in the Mexican-American War. That has nothing to do with the Oscars. This is the Drawing In Room, not the One Thought at a Time Room.
Basterds – 1
Up - 1
Crazy Heart – 1
9:15 – Best Original Screenplay
Of all the things I liked about The Hurt Locker, the dialogue seemed sort of weak to me. An interesting idea, though, and a fairly tight story. So, original screenplay… why not. And thanks for acknowledging that we are still at war.
Basterds – 1
Up - 1
Crazy Heart - 1
Hurt Locker – 1
MOLLY RINGWALD??? Hhhh….wow.
Listen, don’t miss the article about John Hughes in the current Vanity Fair. If the family consents to releasing John Hughes’ notebooks, that would be worth any amount of money. Poor, poor, out of work Brat Pack. Please call them. Incidentally, Molly and Hughes had some sort of falling out years ago, according to the article. We will have to wait for her memoir for this.
9:35 – Best Short Documentary
We will need Entertainment Weekly to explain what the hell just happened during the acceptance of the Documentary Award, because I don’t think that was the intended speech. More to come on that.
I want you to know that I mean no disrespect to the artistic awards by not counting them. I can’t even promise I’ll be consistent about not counting them. I got this Medal Count going but it already feels like overkill and it’s not even 10 o’clock. Even Kate Winslet looks bored. So another acting award is being offered soon, they say.
9:48 – Best Adapted Screenplay
At the time everyone was reading Precious, I’ll admit I was not. I am anywhere from 10-15 years behind reading “the new books.” And if they were written before 1990, well… you do the math. Where IS Sapphire? And how did she avoid all this press? Well, here's some.
Basterds – 1
Up - 1
Crazy Heart - 1
Hurt Locker - 1
Precious - 1
9:55 - Best Supporting Actress
How cool for one stand-up with an Oscar to give an Oscar to another stand-up. Nice touch.
Go 'head, Mo'Nique
Precious - 2
Basterds – 1
Up - 1
Crazy Heart - 1
Hurt Locker - 1
Kate Gosselin on Dancing with the Stars. DISCUSS.
Now a few minutes about the fabulous Sigourney Weaver, dressed tonight as the Firestone Christmas album. I was going to list Films in which Sigourney appears in her underwear. But I just stopped at …. All of them.
Best Art Direction. Avatar just got on the board.
Precious - 2
Basterds – 1
Up - 1
Crazy Heart - 1
Hurt Locker - 1
Avatar – 1
10:20 – A salute to horror without Jamie Leigh Curtis? What a waste. They should have done this tribute the way they did John Hughes, with people who got their starts in horror films. They should have called me.
10:24 – sound awards – where the action pictures clean up.
Hurt Locker - 3
Precious - 2
Basterds – 1
Up - 1
Crazy Heart - 1
Avatar – 1
10:35 – the photography cycle, that it to say, actual FILM making awards. Things get hot for Avatar.
Hurt Locker - 3
Precious - 2
Avatar - 2
Basterds – 1
Up - 1
Crazy Heart – 1
I have not talked much about the impact of Avatar on traditional filmmaking and acting, mostly because I haven’t seen it.
10:52 – Musical Score
Hurt Locker - 3
Precious - 2
Avatar - 2
Up - 2
Basterds – 1
Crazy Heart – 1
Things are starting to speed up now. Avatar picks up Visual Effects, and no one can deny them that. Won’t make me go.
Hurt Locker - 3
Avatar - 3
Precious - 2
Up - 2
Basterds – 1
Crazy Heart - 1
As we go to commercial, the most awkward teaser over: " see if Oscar history is made as the first female (“female”??) or first African-American, or will James Cameron, Jason Reitman, or Quentin Tarantine take home the prize…" The names of the PEOPLE you just reduced to “and the rest” status are Kathryn Bigelow and Lee Daniels.
11:07 – Editing – Typically, after a film rakes in a lot of photography awards, it misses on Best Picture (Titanic aside). This does not change my prediction (because it is unfair to change your prediction).
Hurt Locker - 4
Avatar - 3
Precious - 2
Up - 2
Basterds – 1
Crazy Heart – 1
I haven’t mentioned this yet, but…
I hate that panel of stupid piano lamps
11:24 – let’s give out some OSCARS! (that rhymes with “are you ready to rumble.”)
Lead Actor – Standing O for Jeff Bridges. I think they should have asked Cloris Leachman to give his tribute. But Michelle Pfeiffer is lovely, Maan
11:39 – Lead Actress
I originally predicted Helen Mirren because I forgot she had so recently won for The Queen. But I will stand by it, and perhaps be wrong. And why doesn’t Oprah act in more films? She is the most poised creature on this or any stage.
Standing O for Sandy! They really like her. And I do too. Such southern grace to personally acknowledge her fellow nominees.
And how nice for Sean Penn to check in on her as they walked off stage.
11:52 – Director
Barbra left the dining table with her tablecloth tucked in her blouse.
Hey, what do you know – girls DO win this award. Very very TALL girls. 82 years in.
The orchestra played “I am Woman.” Oh my.
Here’s where we are:
Hurt Locker - 5
Avatar - 3
Precious - 2
Crazy Heart - 2
Up - 2
Basterds – 1
Blind Side – 1
This show will go over.
11:58 Best Picture – come on back up, KB
Hurt Locker - 6
Avatar - 3
Precious - 2
Crazy Heart - 2
Up - 2
Basterds – 1
Blind Side – 1
Remember your OIF and OEF troops by writing
A Recovering Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Cntr
6900 Georgia Ave NW
Washington, DC 20307-5001
And thank your cable Help Desk.
You're the best. I didn't watch, but I feel like your summary pretty much covers it. Though I'll have to Google Sandra's speech.
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