Monday, December 14, 2009

Stop making things up

Earlier today I was reminded that I have been meaning to react all out of proportion to something. 

This is the jigsaw puzzle my travelling companion selected from the "library" of our hotel to entertain us through the evening.  She does things like this because she is able to walk away from a puzzle when she is tired or bored.  She is also able to order wine and enter bookstores and know her limits, with only a marginal regard for what any of those does to my brain.

That is not my rant.
My rant is....
who decided that this group of people would hang out together in the Hereafter, and that they belong in paintings together
Most importantly, what in the backyard F^#%$!@ is Bogie doing with these people?

Dean: 1955, aged 24 , car crash
Marilyn:  1962, aged 36, overdose
Elvis: 1977, aged 42, heart attack
Bogart: 1957, aged 58, cancer

They have the entire Other Side to roam around, and they choose to hang out together - in diners, bar rooms, in store?

Bogie was in silent films, for crying out loud. He was born in 1899. Why would he befriend them?

Lauren Bacall is 85.  Widowed at 33.  I don't expect she has waited this long to have to squeeze into seedy master shots with this band of misfits.  (Ha - I said Misfits)

Bacall, whom everyone calls Betty, except her husband, who called her Baby (shudderrr), strolls through the Pearly Gates and spots Tracy and Hepburn on the tennis courts.

Hepburn:  Spence?  Spence, look, it's Betty!
Tracy: What's that, now?  well whadda ya know about that?
Tracy:  Betty!  Over here!  Well look who's here - now we can really get something going.
Bacall:  Well you look tuh-riff-ic.  What a treat.  Do you know where I can find Bogie?

[silence.  fiddle with racquet strings.  Tracy steps apart from 2 women clearly taller than he is.]

Bacall: Spence?  Kate?  [gives The Look]  what's happened?
Tracy:  At the poolhall, sometimes.  Maybe the diner.  After dark.... [trails off]
Hepburn:  [steadies her gaze ] "Diamonds are a girl's best friend....?"
Bacall:  What, Channing?  I just left her.  She really did bury us all.
Hepburn: Take a breath, kid.  He's with Marilyn now.
Bacall: [slow burn]  Is that so.
Tracy: It doesn't mean anything, kid.  He's just been passing the time.
Bacall: Does she know that? 

Come to think of it, why isn't DiMaggio in a puzzle with Marilyn?  Marilyn, DiMaggio, Arthur Miller, and JFK in Yankee Stadium. That's a puzzle I want to see.  Dean, Sal Mineo, and Montgomery Clift, with Elizabeth Taylor stretched out on the pool table.  Or she's still alive, isn't she?  Elvis, Natalie Wood, Nixon, and a leopard.  I don't know why the leopard - it would just be a good puzzle challenge. 

do not buy me this puzzle

Ok, last stupid 4some pic.  If anyone knows the official name of this motif, please enlighten me.

Save a spot at the piano for Lauren Bacall. It is going to be a long afterlife.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe I don't want to go there after all!!! m


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