Doncha think....

Slim & Steve

or...what I am thinking about in the staff meeting instead of the staff meeting...

I'm thinking,  given everything we know from television, film, and fiction, shouldn't I know at least one person who has hired -- or been tailed by -- a private detective?  And is this one of those cases where, if I can't think of someone, it must be me? 

Why wouldn't it work into a typical conversation, like children, pets, yardwork -- some universal (or at least American) experience that we have all been through.  Why isn't it a topic of stand-up comedy:  "What is the deal with those incidentals?"  I went to the phonebook (the WHAT? call the Smithsonian) just to see what I could come up with.  here in Central Mass, at the intersection of Meth Lane and Custody Battle, there ought to be at least one good quarter-page ad.

I'm having a fond memory of discovering the number of Escort Service pages in the old Richmond book, and trying to decide if I liked or hated what that said about America.

They are not under "private;" they are under Investigators, under a box explaining the proper licensing required of Investigators.  Sorry Yellow Pages; Internet beat you again. Explains the website of the LPDAM (say it fast, like I'll Be Damned) "Anyone who practices as a Private Detective, Bodyguard, Polygraph Examiner, Accident Reconstructionist, Insurance Investigator or Arson Investigator in Massachusetts must be properly Licensed, or the W-2 Employee of a properly Licensed company, under Massachusetts General Law, Chapter 147, Sections 22-30."

Accident Reconstructionist.  I want in.

I've been saying it was time to get out of the office.

LPDAM proudly expresses that they got that header box in the Yellow Pages.  This appears in a list of accomplishments of what "they" said couldn't be done.  Who "they?"  These guys:

 "They said we would never be able to win the fight to include PIs as an exemption in the Federal Drivers Privacy Protection Act, both at the Federal level and in the proposed Commonwealth's version. They laughed and said we were way out of our league"

(I imagine the first draft said "they laughed maniacally...")   

Federal Drivers Privacy Protection Act:   regulates how motor vehicle departments release driver records and vehicle records.  Exemption, eh....? hmmph.

"They scoffed at the slogan "In numbers there is strength, unity and progress." 

See, scoffing is just petty.  and mean.  The professional response is to scorn.

Be sure to use their "Find a Detective" button.  I'm sure it doesn't leave a cookie.  I'm sure.

This is not as thrilling as surfing the Sex Offender Registry, but you'll sleep better.

Hope you're enjoying National Blogpost Month.
Here's another NaBloPoMo participant for you to enjoy.
http://drchoneydew.wordpress.com/