Biting the Hand

Just when I think I am completely out of ideas, Big Pharma leaves a giant package tied with a bow.  It was time to add a new Label just for them.  Rather than link you back to my previous rants (let’s hear it for smallpox, shingles, HPV and nasal allergens), I direct you to the new Big Pharma category at right.  It was bigger than I expected it would be.

Here’s the latest addition.

A certain local pharma-glomerate has inadvertently announced the impending launch of a concoction called DryMist, by posting a job opening for a marketing professional to handle said launch. (Yes, I still read job postings.  They are like Economic Crisis Porn.  You feel cheap and dirty, but you can’t help yourself).

So here is what the job posting has to say about the new thing we won’t be able to get away from (if they find the right Fit and Match). 

Omnaris DryMist, a novel formulation of ciclesonide for allergic rhinitis.

Watch me spend an entire blogpost on one delicious Hostess Sno-Ball of a sentence.

My doctor once placated me with a diagnosis of “acute rhinitis.”  Latin for… stuffy nose.  But ALLERGIC rhinitis, well that is fancy.  But I am getting ahead of myself.

Omnaris DryMist – I have many regrets of the modern age, but the internal capital letter may be top of the list. 

I will look the other way because Sepracor has had the decency to spell both words correctly before shoving them into each other.

So… Omnaris.   Making up drug names is more fun than naming Orientation themes.  If we could combine those things, I might get back into the game.  The Society of People Who have Time to Do What I Only Dream About have designed this random drug name and side effects generator.  It may or may not have created Omnaris, about which a focus group of secretaries then said, “I don’t know what that could be; is there any more danish?”  so they added DryMist, which…. believe me…. we will get to in a second.

DryMist – makes.  no.  sense.

Why would I spray what sounds only like SAND up my nose?  I’d rather have the rhinitis.

On the other hand, it goes perfectly with Sepracor’s “Preliminary Phase III” study result (in a world where “venti” is small, phase 3 is “preliminary”), which was a “large-scale 707 patient” study.   If, in the field of pharmaceutical advancement, 707 is considered large-scale, I don’t want to know about it.

Dry Mist treats “SAR” – ok, not SARS.   Don’t fall for the hype.  SAR, they would have us believe, is “seasonal allergic rhinitis.”   I need an emoticon that is rolling its eyes right now.

A novel formulation of ciclesonide – Which does “cicle” make you think of?   Is it just the syllable “sick” that is throwing you off?  Or the suggestion of cyanide? Cicleconide (the Barbarian) is a glucocorticoid.  This is what the kids at Science Camp called each other as an insult.  I am not smart enough to explain to you what that is, so look it up here.  I wanted to get to the bottom of the “novel formulation.”

Sepracor doesn’t explain much about the novelty (one hopes they want to leave something for the new marketing manager) but it does appear to be the dryness of the mist.  I looked up mist, just for peace of mind: a fine spray of moisture.  

Allergic rhinitis – Pharma counts on you not to know the difference between an allergy and an irritant.  (here I go, all glucocorticoid on you).  An allergy is an abnormal reaction to a substance entering the body ~~ your face swells from eating shrimp.  Bee venom is poisonous; we all react badly to it.  Reacting abnormally signals an allergy.  Pollen in your eyes and nose will irritate your eyes.  Annoying, but a normal reaction.

Check this out: “The Allergies in America Survey, published in 2006, reports that approximately 33% of respondents find ‘dripping down the throat’ to be moderately or extremely bothersome, and approximately 25% of respondents have discontinued use of a nasal allergy prescription due to bothersome side effects.”  Let me rephrase – people who spray mist unto their nostrils to ease the annoyance of the body’s natural reaction to wash away irritants are now irritated by the liquid they propelled into their heads and would like to spray something drier in there.

The big finish

This is always my favorite part:

symptoms of “SAR” -  sneezing, nasal itching, runny or stuffy nose.

Side effects of Omnaris – headaches, inflamed nose or throat, nosebleeds, throat pain, wheezing or other asthma-like symptoms, infections that do not go away.

 

Speaking of things that don’t go away.